Cabo San Lucas Never gets Old but the Hookers Certainly do

On my way back to Tampa from Cabo I had the pleasure of watching lightning right outside my window. It was pitch black outside, and there were streaks of light flashing before my tired, bloodshot eyes. The turbulence was the worst I have experienced and I travel a whole lot for a broke college student...”cough” thanks to my prior excursions to Cabo..”cough” I kept looking at my watch, telling myself we would land soon and there was only a half hour more of flying time so we should be landing soon. I tried to tough it out, because next to me sat a typical laid back American sipping on his large McDonald’s cup playing with his blackberry. He was so cool about it and simply laughed. Me, on the other hand, yeah I was soaking wet from sweating so much, trying to hold my stomach in because the plane kept dropping. He simply chuckled and said, “well that sucked...” I tried to be cool too so I just kept saying this sucks in a deep manly voice, but really I wanted to curse the mother fucking roof off and find a bottle of some sort of alcohol that would calm my tits down. After about 10 minutes of trying to picture my funeral and how awful that would go down (considering if I died it would be be because I had to go to Cabo with a married man with for the weekend) the pitch black night stopped flashing.

On a separate note, I am falling for this guy. I have never felt this way about someone before and it sucks because there is nothing I can even do about it. Yes he has a prenup, AND I do know his wife makes some good dough. He does too... It is so odd that I feel this way about him because he is not even my type, beside his football build body which is such a turn on and hey I do love money. Our dinner dates are pretty hard to match up to..especially if the guys you are used to cannot even afford a 24 pack.
GOD DAMNIT this turbulence SUCKS- I am currently typing this on the plane. Jesus Christ if I die without the evidence I have seen these past couple of days I’ll be pissed yo-plus I would appreciate it too if I was way drunker and died because that way maybe I could just blackout before I dive straight into hell.

Anyways, he has blondish hair (I prefer the dark exotic light), irish, and is so ocd and organized about everything. Maybe it is the way he speaks spanish. Ugh, it is sexy. He plans so well, and is so meticulous. Dudes, one time I put a dish in his dishwasher and it was facing the other way and he moved it to be the other way....I cracked up. When he he travels everything is in baggies and organized perfectly, he has vitamin cases, the works, blah blah, he carries around a giant medical kit with him when he surfs that has 2 of everything...one pair of scissors to cut a bandage is not enough I guess. They say opposites attract, but also I am not the type to even be attracted to a guy for longer than a week or 2. I am so indecisive! I met him in August and we have been seeing each other since.

On the day of my trip to Cabo, he told me to get to the airport 2 hours before my departure and obviously that would just be way too early for me so I decided to spend more time in my closet, in front of my mirror applying generous amounts of mascara. Also, it was adamant that I smoked a blunt. I only live 15 minutes away from the airport so I did get there a solid 20 minutes before departure, except I did not know that they would not let me on if I was there before 40 minutes prior. Whoops, I was pretty pissed considering I made an effort to look good and I was not wearing underwear. We had big plans on meeting in the Admirals Club for a quickie at our connecting flight out of Dallas. So instead I had to pay 50 dollars to get on the next flight that was also full of lovely turbulence. The flight also was delayed so as soon as we landed I had to run through the Dallas airport in wedges and a dress with a bunch of crap in my hand. I kind of was stumbling too because I was parshly intoxicated. I somehow made the connecting flight, probably because I was out of breath and tired when I got on the plane and the doors shut right behind me.
After I caught my breath, I sat next to my lover who was cracking up because he find my mess of a character mildly entertaining. The whole time we basically talked about how we wanted to jump each other bones. I felt bad for the guy sitting next to me, my loud, obnoxious voice carries and he probably thought I was some kind of sex fiend. As soon as we landed to our destination we picked up the Jeep Wrangler and cruised off to the glorious Esperanza Hotel. We were staying in his friend’s Villa, who was arriving shortly after us. Our villa had a private pool, jacuzzi, barbeque, patio, backyard, huge TV, bose systems in every room, giant kitchen, huge living room, 2 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a shower that had a door and view of the backyard oh yeah and our own butler. Mhm, life was pretty sweet.
After my walk around of the Villa, we obviously could not keep our hands away and went at it. Afterward we had beer and sea bass tacos at the pool where his friend we shall name Jorge met us. --The friend’s background is that he makes a phenomenal living, working in the mortgage business (which I still really do not understand). He and his wife have been separated for some time now, and he has a girlfriend who is about 13 years younger than him (not hating). I believe he dated the girlfriend tried to do the whole marriage at the same time, obviously it did not work out so well. He has 3 kids, and his girlfriend had just moved out 2 weeks ago because she wants kids and he does not.
Jorgw was probably the most sincere, nicest friend of my lovers I ever met. I actually sympathized to him because he honestly seemed bummed out about his girlfriend leaving and really loves her. I know this sounds stupid coming from someone like me, but I have a gift for reading people and this guy really wants compainionship. He just seemed so lonely and kept texting his previous girlfriend. He is just having a hard time acheiving a relationship with his children, which is hard during separation, especially if he has a girlfriend.
When we arrived back to our Vila, the butler was making us drinks while my lover asked the butler about weed connections, the next morning our fabulous butler brought us a bag of bud. What are butlers for? Right? Jorge was giving me the low down and showing me pictures of his golf buddy Kid Rock, showing me a picture of Bono 10 feet away from him at a concert. My man and I went to nap before dinner but obviously the nap did not happen, and instead I was on top of him while his buddy definitely heard me...but I don’t think he minded. After I put on this white short dress, I said my dress is so short I can barely move. Next thing I know my guy thought it would be funny and lifted my dress up to reveal my bare ass and suggested I don’t wear underwear. I mean I was all for the fun and getting him off so I did not really care, his friend was pretty happy about the situation considering he saw my ass too.
On the way to dinner, we drove by a massage shop and he made a comment like one of the massage places around here gives other services and I was like ohh a happy ending huh? So then we drove past a massage shop with girls by the door who were eyeballing my guy and his friend. The friend was not too impressed but said, alright alright I can always do that. “It is an option.” I guess his friend thought getting laid was the cure to get over his former girlfriend.
That night was pretty quiet and Jorge ended up with a buster bar from Dairy Queen. However the next day his friend was visiting. His friend we shall call Mac because he is a mac daddy. He just sold his marketing internet company for a ridiculous amount of money, has a private plane and goes to Vegas every weekend. The whole time during the trip he was on the phone placing bets on the NCAA basketball games. His deal was that he was married and he had a separate girlfriend in Vegas. One day his girlfriend called his wife and told her about them. He actually saw her a couple times after that and his wife wanted a divorce. Interesting...
When he arrived I had a great buzz and the three guys were smoking a cigar in the pool talking about woman. The guy from Miami was taking about how all the girls practically wear no clothes and his friends will call them up and say, “man I am on ocean and fifth, I just saw the hottest girl walk by...blah blah...” Then one of the guys brought up a point, he was explaining the typical 21st century date. He suggested if a man takes a woman to dinner and pays for her dinner, then you go over and if you happen to sleep with him, that he basically is paying for sex.
According to him, hookers are great because they leave and are gone before the morning. He thinks one of the main reasons men buy hookers is because they leave. This is an interesting point, because lets face it if a girl is on a date with a pretty attractive guy, and there are sparks flying, if you have a good buzz go over to his place and the mood seems right , a lot of the times the girl ends up in his bed. I felt a bit awkward with the rest of their female talk so I went off to the hot tub.
I also overheard them talking and someone asked my guy about me, and he said she is in college---i know my man was talking about me. I am sure Mac asked him how he does it, or how does it work out...and it made me a bit pissed and sad but mostly because I know he was right. He had the perfect situation I go to school not too far but not too close from him. I am young to the point where I do not want to start a family and not so need.
After we were drinking by the pool, we all were going to dinner at my favorite place! It was pretty funny because we went to the bar and there were two women. One of the woman my lover was talking to for his friend. While he was chatting up this older broad, there was another woman at the bar (but she was with her signifigantly older husband) and the guys were all talking about how she was sooo hott (a little too much plastic surgery, I would say). The nicest friend out of the three, was chatting me up because I think he knew I was a it annoyed my guy was not paying attention to me (which absolutely drives me bonkers sometimes). So his friend was telling me how I was more his type and how he thought blondes were more of my guys thing. Immediately I thought about his wife because I know she is blonde, so I chugged my margarita as fast as you can say Don Julio.
After a couple of minutes my man came over to me and let Mac talk to this broad. This broad looked good for her age, but she was a little weird. She seemed super frail and talked very lightly. We inivited her to join us for dinner, so we all sat down and she came to sit next to me and then complained how she was sick. We all ordered our food, and after I inhaled lobster quesadillas, our entree came and apparently Mac was annoyed with the woman and told my guy to help get rid of her. So, my clever guy says, “Ok guys so we are all having a threesome with Lexa tonight, right?” She immediately stood up, said she was sick and left. She did not even have time to take a bite out of her dish...how unfortunate.
That night Mac already had big plans for the night. He was real into party favors so he found a hookup in the area from a friend who was going to meet us out at the bar. We went to the bar and I was off trying to look for girls for them. None of them seemed good enough for them and also a lot of the girls were too drunk too even realize what I was saying. I was totally trying to sell them. I talked about their Villa and how they would not have to pay for drinks for the rest of the night. But it did not work out as I expected. Also, Mac said he does not do younger girls because he does not do that quote on quote “bullshit” but I did not care what he thought because I liked him the least out of the friends.
Mac’s hook up came with many types of party favors, los drugos y prostitutos! Yup, all of a sudden I am dancing, chatting with the guys and there walks up two girls. They kept smiling at me which freaked me out a bit. One of them was probably 30 and the other a little older. When they arrived, that was our cue to leave and go back to the Villa because we were not riding with any prostiutes. We went back to the VIlla and had our fun, except I broke down and almost cried because I told my lover that I thought he wanted to have sex with one of the hookers more than me and that he pisses me off when he talks about women like whores--lets also note on the side that I drank beer and margaritas all day followed by some drugs. Apparently, he thought I was totally crazy ans assured me that he would never be into that.
The door swung open with the two hookers that were brought over followed by another Mexican with some big knockers. She walked into the kitchen a couple of times that night, and said that she could have a drink because one of the guys told her to get one. When she asked us where the liquor was she was completely naked with her hands trying to cover up her enormous boobs and crotch. Also, she came from upstairs and in order to get upstairs you have to walk outside of the Villa (so you are outside in the resort, where there other hotel guests and residents) and go upstairs to the room.
They also kept eating those mini cinnamon donuts from Costco the boys were obsessed with. I found it pretty hilarious. The next morning, the guys were talking about the hookers. I learned that hookers are not even good for sex because they try to make guys cum as soon as they can so they can leave faster--or well that would be the smart way to go about your job. From what I gathered, the older girl sucked in bed so the bustier one told her she would take over and I guess she got the job done.
The next day the Butler brought us some phenomonal bud and he prepared for us huevos rancheros from scratch-naturally (he was Mexican). Also the night before my man had told me I passed out on him in the middle of sex...which I did not find surprising because I barely remember even having sex with him even though I told his friend that I wanted to fuck him all night long? Yes, this would not be the first time either he has made fun of me the next day because I passed out on him. Opps...
I had some fun with the bud during the day while the boys had their eyes glued to the basketball game. One of the guys kept freaking out because he kept placing bets. My lover asked if I wanted to go dancing that night because it was saturday and he knows I love to dance. We went out dancing pretty late and he thought this girl was really cute. He wanted me to try and talk to her, so I kind of laughed it off and thanked god she walked over to the bar.
Then we spoke to her friend and she informed us this cute girl is 17 years old and that they snuck her into the bar. When I was drunker I tried to talk to the girl just to amuse my guy, but it turned out she did not speak a word of english--again thank the heavens!
The boys were passed out that night. Apparently, they both use viagra and when I asked them about viagra they told me so many guys (my age) use it, which I can believe. I guess you learn something new every day.
Jorge was lonely and looking to get laid so he called up one of the hoes from the previous night to come keep him company. As soon as he popped a viagra he received a call from the hooker informing him she would be unable to service him due to her inability to find a babysitter...in Mexico. Jorge suffered from blue balls the entire night. Mac thought it was the funniest thing in the world. He could not believe the mexican prositiute could not find a sitter when all of the sitters where he lives (Callifornia) are Mexican. Mac said, “How could she not find a sitter in Mexico, she could have asked her sister, mom, neighbor.”
The next day was our final day in paradise so the guys were trying to get their party on. We all walked the beach to try to scope out the ladies and the ones they did find were all taken by younger guys who seemed quite gay. We polished off a couple of rum and cokes and headed out back to the house to refresh, get pumped up... ya know..., and then we were going to grab dinner and try to see what was out there.
When we were at the house getting all refreshed, my lover was obsessed with the short dress I was wearing and thought it would be funny to lift up my dress and flash his friends because again I was not wearing underwear. He did love to show off what he was hitting, especially to his friends. His friend made a comment about snorting something off my vagina and I laughed when he said something because I did not know what else to say really. My guy said he had never seen that done and told him it was up to me. I figured we were on vacation, it was the last night....why not. It’s not like he was going to do anything else down there. Mac walked in on him while i had my dress lifted up on the living room table and he nearly had a heartattack....we decided to leave after that.
There were no females at dinner, nor at the bar so the guys thought it would be the best idea for them to all go to the strip club. When we got to the strip club, there was only one girl dancing who we all found pretty unimpressive. Then a decent looking girl with a neon bandeu and glow in the dark thong came on and walked around the poles...again not too impressive.
Affter she danced, she came over and another girl came over asking us if we wanted a dance. It took atleast 15 minutes for them to ask if we wanted a dance...in the United States that has got to be illegal. What kind of strip club was this? If a stripper did that here, she would be fired for sure. That was the cue for my “sugar daddy” and I to peace. When we left we were exhausted as it was our last night. We took a golf cart ride to our room and he asked me if I had strong feelings for him. I had a couple of drinks in me and decided to fess up. I told him I had developed strong feelings for him and that I really liked him. He said he really liked me too but that I was 20 years old, and that I had my life ahead of me. I was aware of this, I always was. I just never enjoyed spending so much time with a guy before. He seemed so cool about every thing but not when the right things mattered. He never got mad except it was for a good reason. It was a great combination and he was all bout pleasing me....which is pretty rare to find in a male these days. He did not expect to do all the work...again VERY rare among college males.
I had a surprise for him. I changed into a maid costume and met him in the bedroom. He loved it....naturally. As soon as I got on top of him, I heard the door open and Jorge entered in on us and said, “Man I hate when you guys do this!” and left the room. I could hear girls voices and the next day I found out that they brought the hookers home...I was not surprised in the least.
The last day is always a sad one because, in the morning it is the last day I get to wake up next to him. He tells me to come closer and I cuddle up against him and squeeze into my “nook” under his arm where I can rest my head on his chest and totally pretend he is not married or anything... I feel so safe when I am in his arms, it sucks! I hate that the next morning it will all be over and I will wake up in my shitty bed on the floor next to a giant pile of dirty clothes with my laptop right by my lap on fire because it was on all night long.
One time my friend was so fucked up and tired. She was eating queso dip with chips and she was watching her favorite tv Vampire Diaries on one of those illegal websites. The next morning I went into the bathroom and saw my dress she went the night before with something that looked like throw up. Then I walked by her and she was trying to clean the laptop she was using to watch her tv show. Apparently, while she had the queso on her lap before the laptop was on the lower end of her stomach. She managed to fall asleep and the queso spilled all into the keyboards of the laptop. Luckily she had insurance through her school that allowed her to get electronics such as computers fixed, so they fixed her computer but the keys were completely fucked up.

Anyways the last day of Cabo I drank my bloody mary’s worth all the way to my destination. All I could think about was a blunt and how much I dreaded getting into my shitty bed. Damn. Well at least I did not die on my plane. The next day in my spanish class my teacher asked about my trip to Mexico and all I could do was laugh. There was no in hell, I could even talk about the trip...definitely not in espanol .

Wardrobe Change Much?

So there is this guy, I will name Red because he wore a red condom and for some reasons colored condoms freak me out, or well maybe its because they kind of catch me off guard. Anyways, I have had sex with him before but I did not really remember and I peed his bed....so after that I did not talk to him too much because I was tots embarrassed. I have seen him at the bar acouple of times after that and he has been pretty flirty and nice (christ sakes I am outside and getting eaten by mosquitoes in my jungle of a backyard). The drunk texts have been occurring pretty regularly after seeing Red out a couple of weeks ago. I decided to invite him to the case race we were throwing at our crackhouse. Rules are you had to be attached to your partner before you finished a 24 pack.
I took the liberty of getting handcuffs because I knew they would be useful at some point in the night and other nights for sure ;) I wanted Red to be my partner because I would not mind being handcuffed to him for a while but he had some bullshit to do and said he would come over when he was done...which I was not too sure about. We throw many parties at our house and I usually invite him and he does not come....granted I invite him an hour before we decide that we should even have a party but still--a girl is asking you to come over to a house party which means she will probably get wasted and you could totally sweet talk your way into getting inside her room (believe me, it unfortunately has happened to me too many times).
After I downed 12 beers with my partner and unhandcuffed myself to my partner good sir Red Condom arrived with a bottle of tequilla nonetheless. My favroite choice of liquor! I knew I liked him for a reason. We shmoozed and drank the night away and obviously ended up in my room....there is a shocker. I do not know why I decided to have many wardrobe changes that night but I did...I guess I thought it would be hot if I changed into my maid costume. So I put that baby on while he was laying on my bare mattress because my usual sheets were pissed on and I did not do laundry so there was some sheet on there that basically was not on. Ew...if only he knew.
I got on top of him and there was the red condom on his dick...like flaming red. This night was a blur, but I remember changing into my nurse costume. Ido not know why but I guess I thought it would be a good idea to change into that one too? I got on top of him again in my nurse costume and then he found my vibrator hiding behind my bed. We definitely had fun with that but he was drunk and could not cum which annoyed me but it did not stop me obviously.
I had some serious great sex that night, and hope to adopt him as a regular fuck buddy. He is a pretty good contender I say, and he has a lot of offer down there (if ya know what I mean). Perhaps this could be a usual thing except for the whole not drunk thing. That was probably an absurd amount of wardrobe changes for the night but don’t worry people after we had sex I changed back into my dress, into the party room. I was a little upset though because I lost my handcuffs and wanted to use them...I told him I had found them after he left and he replied “next time.” Now I am hopeful and my sexual needs were satisfied. Successful night. Now I can go watch America’s Great Next Restaurant and visualize myself with Curtis Stone.