Hostage thursday

I think when Shakespeare wrote to be or not to be. He was referring to being either a fake wig wearing, upper-class, folk who was trying fuck 'urry girl in da world or not. I am talking about tools. Where do they come from? Who was the first? Well I can tell you in Tampa these tools are everywhere. I am attracted to them when I am wildly belligerent, like last night per say. A present day tool usually obsesses over the gym, christian audiger, Ed Hardy, Affliction and spends too much time on their hair. My tool from wednesday night was shorter?, wearing a black blazer, and of coursethe obnoxious shoes. I do not know IF guys actually think pointed black leather shoes are attractive because they are NOT. Those shoes just mean you are a tool. He was drinking a vodka soda. Real men drink beer.


I am getting drunk hence I downed two snake bites at the Dubliner-the greatest beer ever. I am flirting with some tools, my two friends and I want to check out this other bar. They really want to take the giant cups they serve beer in, so they sneak out with the cups and just as successfully are about to go in Cheap the bouncer is running over to us. He smiled at my friend and she knew they were caught. Mission=failed...there is always next time.

At Cheap I hear this tool and his friend talking about how they liked my dress. I look over and give the tool my sex eyes. Now my friends now my sex eyes. It usually happens with the help of alcohol. I flicker my eyes and stare for a bit, look away real quick and then see if they are looking back. I have probably mastered the eyes, but there are probably some tweeks I should work on fixing-such as staring too long like a desperate, horny creep.

Toolbag was feeling the sex eyes and responding well and asked my name and if I wanted a shot=success! I think another reason I always go to tools is because they usually look cleaner which makes me think they have more money so they will be more willing to offer me a drunk. How pathetic of me. And of course he is older. Thirty-only a mere decade in my eyes. Well this guy is sloshed. He keeps kissing my neck and telling me he wants me to come home with him. My friends come over and say there are going to leave and asked if i was ok. So I tell them I'm fine and they can leave. Toolbag also was supposed to buy me another drunk and I keep telling him I am thirsty. FINALLY after 20 minutes of him kissing me and me telling him hydrated I am he says I can get a drink. Also, before I ordered this drink-the bartender was telling people at the bar (while I am standing right next to them) how he thought it was so funny this tool kept kissing me and i kept trying to pull away and ask for a drink.

So, this guy is asking me to stay over at his place and I go ok I will stay over but I am only sleeping...Hm how do you think that turned out? Well I wake up the next morning and I have amazing sex which is cool. Then I am thinking well...when should I ask him to take me home. OH wait FUCK he did not even drive last night. Who knows where his car is which is a failure because I have class at 4 and 6!! He asked me if I had anything to do that day and I told him I had class. He said all he wanted to do is sleep. I was hungover as fuck so I obviously said the same thing but I did not think we actually were going to sleep the whole day.

We napped for a bit had sex again and he kept looking at my eyes. It was really creepy...and he kept saying hi how are you?-but in a sexy voice. What the fuck is sexy about saying hi 5000 times to someone you met last night. We wake up at 4 and he wants to watch the fucking terminator. I still think he has no car and don't know what else to do. So what the hell Less (apparently that is his name) i'll watch your dumb movie with you to avoid conversing And yes I had class at 4. Is it 5:30 and FINALLLY he says well I should probably take you home now....um it's only 5:30 and i did not eat the WHOLE day!! And I WAS hungry. All i was thinking about was what food I should eat when I get back to my apartment. I thought about calling Jimmy Johns and having them deliver it to my apartment so It would be there by the time I get back.

So this guy drops me off at my complex and I am wearing black heels that make me 6 feet and my dress and false eyelashes from last night. It was probably my latest walk of shame ever. It was dark and my friends were calling me asking if I was going to go out. I just got home from being out last night. He called me today and left me a voicemail. In his voicemail he mentioned the time and day he was calling. THat is such a peet peve of mine. It is 2009 dude I believe everyones phone has a voicemail system that tells you when you receive a voicemail. I do not think I am going to return that phone call unless I want to be kept hostage in bed all day again!