If you think I am crazy wait till you meet my roommate Eleanor. Eleanot has her little brother, my age (19) coming from the midwest to go visit her sister and experience a crazy party school. My friend is visiting from home to indulge in my crazy life and get some sun. Eleanor and I had a duty. Our duty on Thursday night was to assure they partied their asses hard. It is thursday at about nine thirty and we start getting our drink on. We are drinking a shit ton and please keep in mind we are heading to a club where they have open bar from 10-12.
We all get to this club and Eleanor's brother is not allowed inside because he is wearing cargo shorts. Needless to say he is still wearing a nice long sleeve shirt and shoes, but according to these toolbags a Christian Audigier shirt bedazzled with rinestones and gym shorts would be more acceptable. They leave so her brother can get changed and my friend and I enter in open bar and there is only one hour left. I handed my free cup to the bar trying to get more Absolut Mandarin as if I was dying of thirst. I did not even like Absolut Mandarin.
Finally Eleanor and her brother and friends come in the door and they part take in the end of open bar. The rest of the night for myself was a blur. i was told that Arab men kept staring at me so I guess I look Arab now? I can tell you my roommate had a more fun time than I. Eleanor was getting it with all these black men. She was raging and making out with all of them. Except, she could not tell which one was which because it was too dark inside the club to tell. They should have smiled more. (Excuse my racist comments, i swear I am not racist)
Apparently Eleanor left the club for a good while. The last time anyone saw her, she was walking with this HUGE, built, black man. She looked at her friend, nodded yup and then pointed to the black man. I think we all knew, that men was going to get lucky. Then after about an hour or so of her disappearance, Eleanor struts inside of the club with the shirt she went out in, but not the skirt. Instead, the bouncers let her in wearing these giant, grey, football practice warm up sweatpants. They did not let her brother in with his cargo shorts but let this girl in with black man pants....interesting.
One of our friends asks her, Where did you get those sweatpants? She looks down and her response is, "Dude I have no idea where these came from." The rest of the night is a blue to everyone. Eleanor walked to her friends from the club and then went home while my friend and I will never know how we made our way home. The next morning my roommate found her skirt. It was in between her shirt and ghetto sweatpants. She then told us where she had went that night. Her and black magic went to his car to have sex, and since she could not find her skirt he gave her his roommate's sweatpants he practices football in. This fellow was also very adamant about getting his sweatpants back too. They exchanged numbers as well so he could get these sweatpants back.
Now he texts her all the time but Eleanor forgot what he looks like. He is now saved under the contact, "Mystery Midnight Man." and she still has his sweatpants.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
The next Real World Star
I am out of work it is eleven o'clock, This means I only have one meezly hour to complete indulging myself in Happy Hour-weak. Obviously I am not leaving the bar, I need to get my drank on. While I am trying to kill every last bit of liquid as if they were running out of liquor, I see this cute guy across the bar and I recognize him. He always runs next to me on the treadmill AND he noticed me! He was pointing at me and then was making running motions. I had no idea he thought I existed. He is super cute and then he pointed at the flower in my hair and he liked it and he had a flower in his hair.
My treadmill buddy and I start talking and he tells me he has to give out this rose in his hair at midnight for a kiss. Then he tells me someone is going to start filming. THEN I realize this guy is from Smithtown. Smithtown guys are usually assholes. Smithtown is only a half hour away from where I am from. I can easily tell there Is more to this taping at midnight scene. I get it out of him and he admits he wants to be the next REAL WORLD STAR. PLEASE do not tell me people think Mike, "The Situation" and these crazed real world stars are actually Idols. Why do they even call it Real World. I feel like these people get on these shows "Real World" and "Jersey Shore," and that is their world and after when they do try to get jobs and have a real life they can't because people have watched them on TV. Every single person on those shows has some sort of ridiculous drunkun breakdown and I don't think hiring agents find that appealing.
I don't understand why this kid wants to be on Real World but i go with it because he is so cute and tall AND NOT GUIDO!!!-so hard to find in Tampa. The clock strikes midnight and I am the lucky flower winner! Yay, so he gives me a short kiss on the lips and then I look over to my right and there is a guy standing over me with a camera. Really? This little "romantic" stunt is supposed to get this guy on Real World. This is the best he can come up with. He is just thirsty to be a reality tv star. That is kind of sad.
This guy keeps filming me and mtv wanna be, and I am not really feeling comfortable since if I flirt with this guy and dance with him it will help his so wanted portrayal as a flirt on the Real World. I take a break from the video shoot. My friends brother comes over to me and he cannot even speak. He is speaking but a. he is speaking another language and b. he cannot stand c. HE IS TRYING TO KISS ME. Ew-he was so drunk and telling me he likes me. I have met this guy three times (I have been so fucked him every time) and one of the times I peed his brother's couch- which he will never fucking let me forget.
I successfully run away from brother and everyone is wayyyy drunker than me, which is always an upset in my book. My friend and I go to this other bar and get a free pizza pire!!! SCORE. I ate pizza,went home and cute real world guy texts me and wanted me to come over. I was finally feeling my drunk and I said to myself why not. So I go outside but it was WAY too cold to leave so I told him I had a problem and could not move due to the weather He did not really understand my text and got mad I did not come over. It was probably better I did not, I could have had a sex tape leaked out the next morning.
My treadmill buddy and I start talking and he tells me he has to give out this rose in his hair at midnight for a kiss. Then he tells me someone is going to start filming. THEN I realize this guy is from Smithtown. Smithtown guys are usually assholes. Smithtown is only a half hour away from where I am from. I can easily tell there Is more to this taping at midnight scene. I get it out of him and he admits he wants to be the next REAL WORLD STAR. PLEASE do not tell me people think Mike, "The Situation" and these crazed real world stars are actually Idols. Why do they even call it Real World. I feel like these people get on these shows "Real World" and "Jersey Shore," and that is their world and after when they do try to get jobs and have a real life they can't because people have watched them on TV. Every single person on those shows has some sort of ridiculous drunkun breakdown and I don't think hiring agents find that appealing.
I don't understand why this kid wants to be on Real World but i go with it because he is so cute and tall AND NOT GUIDO!!!-so hard to find in Tampa. The clock strikes midnight and I am the lucky flower winner! Yay, so he gives me a short kiss on the lips and then I look over to my right and there is a guy standing over me with a camera. Really? This little "romantic" stunt is supposed to get this guy on Real World. This is the best he can come up with. He is just thirsty to be a reality tv star. That is kind of sad.
This guy keeps filming me and mtv wanna be, and I am not really feeling comfortable since if I flirt with this guy and dance with him it will help his so wanted portrayal as a flirt on the Real World. I take a break from the video shoot. My friends brother comes over to me and he cannot even speak. He is speaking but a. he is speaking another language and b. he cannot stand c. HE IS TRYING TO KISS ME. Ew-he was so drunk and telling me he likes me. I have met this guy three times (I have been so fucked him every time) and one of the times I peed his brother's couch- which he will never fucking let me forget.
I successfully run away from brother and everyone is wayyyy drunker than me, which is always an upset in my book. My friend and I go to this other bar and get a free pizza pire!!! SCORE. I ate pizza,went home and cute real world guy texts me and wanted me to come over. I was finally feeling my drunk and I said to myself why not. So I go outside but it was WAY too cold to leave so I told him I had a problem and could not move due to the weather He did not really understand my text and got mad I did not come over. It was probably better I did not, I could have had a sex tape leaked out the next morning.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
A New Year does not always mean new beginnings
After my rejection I was so ready to spit game in Tampa. I am on the line to get my bags checked at the airport and I am making small talk with these two guys who looked around my age. One of them happened to be cute and was on my flight. ;) They asked if I wanted to travel with them and I obviously did not want to risk my life, in those dangerous airports dealing with security guards and terrorists. so I said, Yes-again solely my life's sake. I find out cute guy's name is Nick and he is from by my town. I also find out his friend is going out of his mind because he is on cloud exed out of his life. Nick is also on more than ex. Do i know how to pick them or what?
I sit in between Nick and Ex. Nick and his friend both tell me how happy they are that they get to sit next to a cute girl. I assume the drugs are hitting them hard because I look over at Ex and he has his headphones in and is banging the air with his eyes closed bugging the fuck out. Nick is telling me how cute I am and wants to "bud" with me (i had no idea what the hell budding was until I found out it is sharing headphones). I also did not realize "budding" would lead to much more.
After we bud for a bit, the boys suggest we get some alcoholic beverages. Then Nick asks me for my number and I could not say no, I was not going to deal with awkwardness for 3 hours on a plane. We exchange numbers and agree that we are going to smoke after our plane ride. He also goes to school a half hour away from me. ANYWAYS, I start to drink some Jack Daniels and Coke. I had the strongest one ever. Fun Fact: One shot=two shots up in the air-Lexa did not know this. I had another strong one and I had not eaten the whole day so I was tipsy.
Now I start to fall asleep on Nick and he was all about it. He kept saying I was adorable and how he really needs a girl in his life to straighten his act up. I am just smiling and laughing-trying not to cause awkwardness or mixed feelings. But, Nick keeps telling me he really likes me and I am freaking out in the inside, but on the outside I just keep smiling. Nick and Ex's high also reaches a new level when they repeatedly start petting my hair, they keep on stroking and are amazed by how it feels. Again, I freak out on the inside.
Then Nick tells me he wants to kiss me. I tell him were on a plane-meanwhile there are kids behind and in front of us. He ignores my thought, and he leans into me and willingly kiss him back because I am dumb and drunk 3000 feet up n the air with two drug addicts. Nick and I probably made out for 2 hours on this plane ride with children and stuartists walking up and down the aisle. Then we land on the plane and my roommate could not even recognize me because I was kissing this stranger in baggage claim and he is holding my hand and does NOT want to let go. He looks at me like we are lovers and he never wants me to leave. I let go and walk to my roommate, and she is not surprised for one second. That night I got super drunk, made out with my ex-boss and peed my couch. Again, what a great way to start my new year.
P.S. He called me and texted me every day for a week after & I never responded.
I sit in between Nick and Ex. Nick and his friend both tell me how happy they are that they get to sit next to a cute girl. I assume the drugs are hitting them hard because I look over at Ex and he has his headphones in and is banging the air with his eyes closed bugging the fuck out. Nick is telling me how cute I am and wants to "bud" with me (i had no idea what the hell budding was until I found out it is sharing headphones). I also did not realize "budding" would lead to much more.
After we bud for a bit, the boys suggest we get some alcoholic beverages. Then Nick asks me for my number and I could not say no, I was not going to deal with awkwardness for 3 hours on a plane. We exchange numbers and agree that we are going to smoke after our plane ride. He also goes to school a half hour away from me. ANYWAYS, I start to drink some Jack Daniels and Coke. I had the strongest one ever. Fun Fact: One shot=two shots up in the air-Lexa did not know this. I had another strong one and I had not eaten the whole day so I was tipsy.
Now I start to fall asleep on Nick and he was all about it. He kept saying I was adorable and how he really needs a girl in his life to straighten his act up. I am just smiling and laughing-trying not to cause awkwardness or mixed feelings. But, Nick keeps telling me he really likes me and I am freaking out in the inside, but on the outside I just keep smiling. Nick and Ex's high also reaches a new level when they repeatedly start petting my hair, they keep on stroking and are amazed by how it feels. Again, I freak out on the inside.
Then Nick tells me he wants to kiss me. I tell him were on a plane-meanwhile there are kids behind and in front of us. He ignores my thought, and he leans into me and willingly kiss him back because I am dumb and drunk 3000 feet up n the air with two drug addicts. Nick and I probably made out for 2 hours on this plane ride with children and stuartists walking up and down the aisle. Then we land on the plane and my roommate could not even recognize me because I was kissing this stranger in baggage claim and he is holding my hand and does NOT want to let go. He looks at me like we are lovers and he never wants me to leave. I let go and walk to my roommate, and she is not surprised for one second. That night I got super drunk, made out with my ex-boss and peed my couch. Again, what a great way to start my new year.
P.S. He called me and texted me every day for a week after & I never responded.
Not the way to start off your New Year
My new years resolution was to not make one. It should have been a. Study more and stop drinking, b. Stop having sex with strangers (you're going to get aids or worse, herpes) c. Eat healthier and stay active. There is always next year. Perhaps if my new years eve was different it would have chaned my outlook on a new year. Except, the fact was once the clock stuck midnight on December 31st Lexa wanted a New Year's kiss! So she was at party and her little crush (who she THOUGHT had a crush on her) was not kissing anyone. Lexa decided to pull his arm in towards her to get her kiss and guess what happened? SHE GOT DENIED. Yup. That was the start of my New Year.
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