I love going back to the strong island. I love to indulge myself to free booze, free food, and great times with family...especially when your family is as fucking weird as mine. I arrived to JFK tuesday afternoon, obviously hammered from the excessive amounts of necessary bloody marys. But I gotta say, every time I fly I end up sitting next to older men and they always try to pick me up. Last time it was a lacrosse director-but he did not buy my bloddy marys, therefore he is probably cheap and he was cute but something was not right. On the way to JFK I had the liberty of sitting in between a father and his daughter, who was graduating high school. Her father was a talker. HE did not shut the fuck up the entire plane ride when all I wanted to do was drink and jam.
In the middle of the flight he told his daughter I looked like some girl they knew, so he shows me a picture ( warning me that the picture is a bit risque). Next thing I know I am staring at some exotic indian in lingerie....fucking great. I kind of just laughed and then got up to the bathroom to puke. I did not actually puke but I think I tried to.
I arrived to JFK pissed as ever because my moms boyfriend was lost trying to pick me up and I was drunk, hungry and wanted to go home. Especially because I have been at the god damn airport every weekend this month. I think I should move in there, I am not even fully moved into my house and I have lived here since August....opps.
Let me just give you the low down of what happened within the first night of my arrival:
1. My BFF is a drug dealer and brought me some herbs-got super high on my porch-my little sitter saw me and cried because she is now worried I will die? Maybe I should smoke more around here..because she sure never cared about me before...jut kidding but seriously...
2. Little sister then found my herbs and showed my mom. My mom covered for me and told her they were herbs from my roommates garden.
3. I scammed my little brother into giving me mad cash to get him alcohol so naturally I got him a little thing of Popov (by his facial expression, you would have thought the bottle came from heaven.little did he know how much that shit burns!) Oh yeah and he ended up getting alcohol poisoning
4. I am drunk.
5. Wednesday night I was too high to move.
Now for friday night-most of it is a blur. Let me start off with the morning after, I managed to get my lazy ass up from bed feeling MISERABLE, and then I swayed over to my bathroom where my two little eyes spied half a j side by side with a lighter by my sink? I stumbled around my house, confused about my night, ended up in the basement and found my jeans, and big black boots I wore the night before.
Fuck. It hits me- I was at my friend's party last night....and I brought home Matt (my friend from high school).
a. why the hell did I have sex with Matt?
b. I briefly remember the encounter with my mom last night....and I am pretty sure she ran into Matt too.
Oh and shit I realize I am supposed to go meet my friend for coffee...except I cannot find my purse. Then I started to think if I wore a jacket. I could not even remember what the fuck jacket I was wearing. I texted the girl whose house I was at and it turned out thankfully she had it. Next thing I know-I cannot find my fucking ipod. If you know me....my ipod is my life.
I drive over to the girl's house and pick up my jacket with my LICENSE, DEBIT CARD, AND IPOD! Whoa...thank god everyone was too shitfaced to make a robbery. Then I call my friend from last night and try to piece my night together. It turns out after chugging margartias, I arrived at the party, came out of a bathroom within the first five minutes and told my friend I made out with some guy 2 years younger than I? I basically gave every male my sex eyes and flrted hard core. On the way home, Matt and I were making out in my friends car and all my friends were so confused.
I am even more confused. When I got home my mom told me I could not have any boys trying to come over again. That night I went to the bars, came home and was convinced there was a man under my bed. I kept waking my mom up and she finally came into my room and found my cat....I would say I had a successful thanksgiving break with my family. Every day at 5PM it was happy hour in my house. What more could you ask for?
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Hallo-who?
I manage to attract clingers. Ladies, you know what I mean. Say you are at a bar and you meet a guy, and then throughout the night you notice he keeps finding you and is adamant about getting ya digits. Clingers tend to be losers, but at first he usually seems cool, and then it is like THIS WHOLE OTHER PERSON comes out and you want to kill him. When he asked for my fucking number I should have COULD HAVE WOULD HAVE gave him the Tampa rejection hot line. That kid almost made my fucking phone explode from all the god dam text messages he sent like a pussy. I hate the word pussy too, I never use it-only when someone REALLY deserves it and let me tell you this guy was such a pussy.
It is friday night, I am wearing my pink crop top and white linen pants and super cute navy hat, mostly everyone else was dressed in their halloween costume. Most of my night went by, as I repeatedly responded I am not wearing a costume, I am me! And people thought I was not only drunk, but retarded. Ehh, not like I haven't heard it before. I probably am semi retarded from the amount of alcohol I consume. I am drinking a blood mary as we speak. I had a headache, and drank one and now feel way better. Yup, I think its safe to admit I am officially an alcoholic. I live every day like its my last anyways, so its all good.
Jesus christ am I rambling or what. Ok, so I keep making my rounds around the bar and end up talking to this guy in a chef costume. This is the most awful thing about Halloween costumes-who knows what the fuck is underneath their costume????? I am an idiot and really did not think that through either. I should have at least found a sexy clinger, but then again they never are sexy...are they?
I end up conversing about New York, and Dexter (like my two favorites thing) to this guy from New York in a fucking Dexter costume. Cool!-Yeah right. I thought he was cool and interesting to talk to, so like a drunken fool I gave him my number and shortly grew regretful. Well in my defense he did say we could smoke a blunt after happy hour....and how good does a blunt sound after like 9549835 mixed drinks at Happy Hour. I could not say no to a blunt.
He came back over and yes we had sex. Like I do not even want to discuss, he was decent looking but THE GUY DID NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP. He came into the girls and I house and kept rambling about the frat boys who lived there previously. Everyone in my house wanted to kill him because he was so annoying. He also was obsessed with me, no joke people. I told him my dad worked in the produce company and how he sells corn--the kid freaked out.
He then left to go home to get a pizza and more weed I think, so he came back over and I think we had sex again..ew Like I enjoyed it at the time but now I want to kill myself knowing who annoying and clinging he is now. I swear this guy must have been like a virgin or something. I fell asleep and my roomies came home at around 3 and found him on our couch eating a pizza watching t.v....do one night stands usually do that?
I should reevaluate the next one night stand I have. CLEARLY, these men are getting out of hand. The next day was Halloween and honestly, I am not exagerating he texted me maybe twenty times between the time he left and the time I left for Cabo. HE kept asking where I was and then called me rude for not answering me. He then asked if we could talk about the city and Dexter and how he missed me. Then after I ignored for him for 24 hours, he texted me the next day telling me he did not want to have sex and just wanted to smoke and hang out with me because he thought I was cool.
Like i haven't heard that one before you clever dumb shit. He has not talked to me in a couple of days which has been refreshing but let me paste the message he inboxed me on facebook:
Subject: I know you gots a Man or whatever in yo life (pssshhh)
November 5 at 12:28pm Report
corn girl--Alex babygirrl-- buttt if you ever get uninvolved with him or are ever in NY again I wanna talk more about your dad and corn, your stylish clothes you wear, and
how you can build some easy shelves for your bedroom to make it not so messy :-D
sorry for that weird whole miscommunication last week or whatever it was.
cool pic but be easy now playa, keep it fresh
I know exactly what you are thinking. The first thing I thought was, oh my god I hope he's drunk. The second thing I thought was omg did I really have sex with this loser? Poor guy, I really hope he was on something for his own sake of being a human form in this world because people like that cannot be serious. and the miscommunication HA--more like I DID NOT COMMUNICATE BACK TO YOU. Did he really not get that? I think I meet every type of wrong guy you are not supposed to end up with. Are there ANY normal guys out there!? And are you like hiding behind your Wii? I am giving up...maybe. It is possible that we are all just weird.
It is friday night, I am wearing my pink crop top and white linen pants and super cute navy hat, mostly everyone else was dressed in their halloween costume. Most of my night went by, as I repeatedly responded I am not wearing a costume, I am me! And people thought I was not only drunk, but retarded. Ehh, not like I haven't heard it before. I probably am semi retarded from the amount of alcohol I consume. I am drinking a blood mary as we speak. I had a headache, and drank one and now feel way better. Yup, I think its safe to admit I am officially an alcoholic. I live every day like its my last anyways, so its all good.
Jesus christ am I rambling or what. Ok, so I keep making my rounds around the bar and end up talking to this guy in a chef costume. This is the most awful thing about Halloween costumes-who knows what the fuck is underneath their costume????? I am an idiot and really did not think that through either. I should have at least found a sexy clinger, but then again they never are sexy...are they?
I end up conversing about New York, and Dexter (like my two favorites thing) to this guy from New York in a fucking Dexter costume. Cool!-Yeah right. I thought he was cool and interesting to talk to, so like a drunken fool I gave him my number and shortly grew regretful. Well in my defense he did say we could smoke a blunt after happy hour....and how good does a blunt sound after like 9549835 mixed drinks at Happy Hour. I could not say no to a blunt.
He came back over and yes we had sex. Like I do not even want to discuss, he was decent looking but THE GUY DID NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP. He came into the girls and I house and kept rambling about the frat boys who lived there previously. Everyone in my house wanted to kill him because he was so annoying. He also was obsessed with me, no joke people. I told him my dad worked in the produce company and how he sells corn--the kid freaked out.
He then left to go home to get a pizza and more weed I think, so he came back over and I think we had sex again..ew Like I enjoyed it at the time but now I want to kill myself knowing who annoying and clinging he is now. I swear this guy must have been like a virgin or something. I fell asleep and my roomies came home at around 3 and found him on our couch eating a pizza watching t.v....do one night stands usually do that?
I should reevaluate the next one night stand I have. CLEARLY, these men are getting out of hand. The next day was Halloween and honestly, I am not exagerating he texted me maybe twenty times between the time he left and the time I left for Cabo. HE kept asking where I was and then called me rude for not answering me. He then asked if we could talk about the city and Dexter and how he missed me. Then after I ignored for him for 24 hours, he texted me the next day telling me he did not want to have sex and just wanted to smoke and hang out with me because he thought I was cool.
Like i haven't heard that one before you clever dumb shit. He has not talked to me in a couple of days which has been refreshing but let me paste the message he inboxed me on facebook:
Subject: I know you gots a Man or whatever in yo life (pssshhh)
November 5 at 12:28pm Report
corn girl--Alex babygirrl-- buttt if you ever get uninvolved with him or are ever in NY again I wanna talk more about your dad and corn, your stylish clothes you wear, and
how you can build some easy shelves for your bedroom to make it not so messy :-D
sorry for that weird whole miscommunication last week or whatever it was.
cool pic but be easy now playa, keep it fresh
I know exactly what you are thinking. The first thing I thought was, oh my god I hope he's drunk. The second thing I thought was omg did I really have sex with this loser? Poor guy, I really hope he was on something for his own sake of being a human form in this world because people like that cannot be serious. and the miscommunication HA--more like I DID NOT COMMUNICATE BACK TO YOU. Did he really not get that? I think I meet every type of wrong guy you are not supposed to end up with. Are there ANY normal guys out there!? And are you like hiding behind your Wii? I am giving up...maybe. It is possible that we are all just weird.
Cabo: ROUND TWO
Yes bitches. I was cordially invited to Cabo again. The plan was I going to leave sunday (the day of halloween) at 4AM. I was going to leave CAbo on tuesday because my teacher would kill me if I missed his class wednesday. Luckily, I did not get too shitfaced so I was able to make my flight and I did not fall asleep on the way to the airport this time! I did pack when I was drunk though so when I reached security I was treated like a terrorist because I packed my entire bathroom into my carry on. I had to throw out all my face wash, lotions and hair products...lesson learned-do not pack while consuming alcohol, especially on the saturday night before Halloween.
I successfully got on my plane and woke up in Dallas, to that over enormous airport. I guess everything in Dallas is bigger! I sit by our terminal for Cabo and was waiting for my man to get off his plane. I tried to look really busy and not like I was anxiously, waiting for him (not that I was or anything....). I got on my laptop and then I looked at my phone and he messaged me that he landed. I told him where I was and I looked up and saw him walking holding a box of chocolates for me! He knows how much I love those chocolate covered oreos and strawberries :)
The first thing he said was that we have to change my ticket to leave wednesday with him. I thought for five seconds while biting my scrumtious oreo and said to myself...I am going to Cabo for free until tuesday with a sexy man...I would be crazy to say no. After too many first class bloody marys on the plane to Cabo, and many pesos later we changed my ticket to wednesday. On the plane we kept sneaking kisses and could not wait to reach our destination. He was so happy when we arrived, flaunting his spanish skills and saying hi to everyone who remembers him. He loves feeling like a little celebrity to those mexicans, god he is so cocky.
We made love late that day and did not plan on leaving bed until the next morning. In our hotel room there was even a little pool! We did not take advantage of that like I thought we would. The next day his friends came into town. Uh oh. They each brought a girlfriend as well. One of the men was single, and the other was what they call "I am going through a rough patch right now," (meaning i am married but it sucks so I need to have a girl on the side). His friends were happy to see me and wanted me to come on this trip because I keep the party alive and more importantly find them all girls.
After we saw the boys and their accessories, the man and I took a long drive out to the middle of nowhere so he could get some Surf in. On the way there I decided to excite him into giving him a little roadhead. He naturally went wild and we had to pull over in the middle of the desert to have sex. There is nothing better than some hot sweaty mexican sex, only if you have a nice cold Pacifico (mexican beer) afterwards
That night all the "couples" headed over to the pregame house so his butler could prepare us Maragaritas, then we were going to grab sushi, more drinks, and then dance our asses off. I was on a mission to get shitfaced that night because I had a nurse costume I wanted to wear when we got back. After dancing we all squeezed in a cab and every one was attacking their dates, one of the girls even went down on her man in the cab. I don't know if I could do that yo. She had some skill though, I could barely tell she was!
I dressed up in my sexy costume and he loved it. We role played a little which is always fun to me and stayed up for a very long time. The next day and night, we basically hung out and made love-same old same old. I was so sad to leave Cabo again, but I think I will be back there sooner than I think! THe fun did not end there either.
On the plane ride back to Dallas, we were drinking bloody marys like we were flying into our deathbed. When we got off the plane, he could barely walk and I was just giggling. We talked about sex probably the entire two and a half hour flight. He was hard, I was horny and sad he was leaving and wanted him once more. Before our connecting flight departed we went to the shower room at the Admirals Club and had steamy passionate sex.
It was so great because they were closing up the showers so we had to be quick and quiet and it would be the last time until I see him again on a random weekend. Airport sex and desert sex. I love firsts!
I successfully got on my plane and woke up in Dallas, to that over enormous airport. I guess everything in Dallas is bigger! I sit by our terminal for Cabo and was waiting for my man to get off his plane. I tried to look really busy and not like I was anxiously, waiting for him (not that I was or anything....). I got on my laptop and then I looked at my phone and he messaged me that he landed. I told him where I was and I looked up and saw him walking holding a box of chocolates for me! He knows how much I love those chocolate covered oreos and strawberries :)
The first thing he said was that we have to change my ticket to leave wednesday with him. I thought for five seconds while biting my scrumtious oreo and said to myself...I am going to Cabo for free until tuesday with a sexy man...I would be crazy to say no. After too many first class bloody marys on the plane to Cabo, and many pesos later we changed my ticket to wednesday. On the plane we kept sneaking kisses and could not wait to reach our destination. He was so happy when we arrived, flaunting his spanish skills and saying hi to everyone who remembers him. He loves feeling like a little celebrity to those mexicans, god he is so cocky.
We made love late that day and did not plan on leaving bed until the next morning. In our hotel room there was even a little pool! We did not take advantage of that like I thought we would. The next day his friends came into town. Uh oh. They each brought a girlfriend as well. One of the men was single, and the other was what they call "I am going through a rough patch right now," (meaning i am married but it sucks so I need to have a girl on the side). His friends were happy to see me and wanted me to come on this trip because I keep the party alive and more importantly find them all girls.
After we saw the boys and their accessories, the man and I took a long drive out to the middle of nowhere so he could get some Surf in. On the way there I decided to excite him into giving him a little roadhead. He naturally went wild and we had to pull over in the middle of the desert to have sex. There is nothing better than some hot sweaty mexican sex, only if you have a nice cold Pacifico (mexican beer) afterwards
That night all the "couples" headed over to the pregame house so his butler could prepare us Maragaritas, then we were going to grab sushi, more drinks, and then dance our asses off. I was on a mission to get shitfaced that night because I had a nurse costume I wanted to wear when we got back. After dancing we all squeezed in a cab and every one was attacking their dates, one of the girls even went down on her man in the cab. I don't know if I could do that yo. She had some skill though, I could barely tell she was!
I dressed up in my sexy costume and he loved it. We role played a little which is always fun to me and stayed up for a very long time. The next day and night, we basically hung out and made love-same old same old. I was so sad to leave Cabo again, but I think I will be back there sooner than I think! THe fun did not end there either.
On the plane ride back to Dallas, we were drinking bloody marys like we were flying into our deathbed. When we got off the plane, he could barely walk and I was just giggling. We talked about sex probably the entire two and a half hour flight. He was hard, I was horny and sad he was leaving and wanted him once more. Before our connecting flight departed we went to the shower room at the Admirals Club and had steamy passionate sex.
It was so great because they were closing up the showers so we had to be quick and quiet and it would be the last time until I see him again on a random weekend. Airport sex and desert sex. I love firsts!
Stay Classy Now
My sugardaddy and I have been seeing each other sporadically on weekends and such. One night my favorite dark chocolate car driver came to pick me up in his suit and tie to take me to The Ritz to meet up with my not so much man of mine...but whatever. We go to our room and it naturally has a balcony and is super nice and spacious. He also brought party favors. They are called poppers, they are some kind of nitrate that gets released when you pop this seal. It releases this aroma that makes you feel super relaxed and heightens your orgasm.
I wanted him so bad! And he wanted me just as badly..hehe....he slowly undressed me and we made such great love!!!! Please, try a popper. I had never felt so relaxed during sex. It was amazing. We went on for a while, napped and then wanted to go eat. Fabulous Sex and I was yet to go to a delicious dinner...I loved life. We went to dinner and I was sipping on a super strong Martini. The bartenders were trying to figure out how we knew each other. At first we said family and they knew we were full of shit, especially because we cannot keep out hands away from each other or our flirtacious looks.
After my second martini I wanted to go back to the hotel and take him down. I just love older men, I don't know if the ones I just meet but I feel like they are so confident and sexy and I do like how he takes control sometimes. After we shared a yummy piece of cheesecake we sped away in his Porsche convertible and I felt so good! We came back to the hotel smoked a blunt and I am sure you can guess the rest.
The next morning we ordered breakfast in bed and the man who brought it up called me Mrs...so and so and I nearly had a heart attack. He left for a meeting after breakfast and before I had to leave I scoped out the room for goodies. I had to quickly grab some freebies, like towels, utensils, shampoo...I almost grabbed the blow drier too. It's not like I was paying that room bill. That night my dad came into town and he stayed at the hotel right next to The Ritz. Life is too bizarre.
I wanted him so bad! And he wanted me just as badly..hehe....he slowly undressed me and we made such great love!!!! Please, try a popper. I had never felt so relaxed during sex. It was amazing. We went on for a while, napped and then wanted to go eat. Fabulous Sex and I was yet to go to a delicious dinner...I loved life. We went to dinner and I was sipping on a super strong Martini. The bartenders were trying to figure out how we knew each other. At first we said family and they knew we were full of shit, especially because we cannot keep out hands away from each other or our flirtacious looks.
After my second martini I wanted to go back to the hotel and take him down. I just love older men, I don't know if the ones I just meet but I feel like they are so confident and sexy and I do like how he takes control sometimes. After we shared a yummy piece of cheesecake we sped away in his Porsche convertible and I felt so good! We came back to the hotel smoked a blunt and I am sure you can guess the rest.
The next morning we ordered breakfast in bed and the man who brought it up called me Mrs...so and so and I nearly had a heart attack. He left for a meeting after breakfast and before I had to leave I scoped out the room for goodies. I had to quickly grab some freebies, like towels, utensils, shampoo...I almost grabbed the blow drier too. It's not like I was paying that room bill. That night my dad came into town and he stayed at the hotel right next to The Ritz. Life is too bizarre.
FUCK Four Locos.
The semester has begun, and Lexa has tried to chill because she has grown fond of her sugardaddy, yes some sexual incidents have spring up. My BAC level and hormone level can only stay low for such a short period.
Have you ever heard of Four Lokos?
If you have one, if you didn't black out-there is something wrong with you.
two-I heard the FDA is questioning whether caffine and alcohol should be combined in the drink and MAY GET BANNED!- So I am not crazy people. Check this out if you do not believe me for yourself!
So one night I went to dollar beers extremely blazed and took advantage of some beers. It was about 8:30 and I could only stay out until 10 because my Latin Fever girlfriend was coming over. Yes I was going to get drunk tonight.
Per our phone conversation earlier, she asked if I wanted to get Four Lokos before we went out (yes I was going to go out after dollar beers), I told her I had no idea what the fuck that was. She could not believe I never heard of them! Apparently it was the cool thing to do-wow I love not living on campus.
Also, this drink was super easy to get. All I had to do was go to the gas station and bam they had a couple of flavors. My spicy friend said grape was the best so I grabbed two. I have tried fruit punch after I had this Four Lokos and it tasted like ass.
I end up going to dollar beers and I get a pretty good buzz. It reaches about 10 and all I want to do is go home and smoke a fat blunt. This is why I cannot make plans.
Spicy Fever calls me to inform me she is on the way, and I did not want to cancel on her because I know she was looking forward to going out. She comes over and my eyes are on the verge of closing. I thought maybe any other person would say, oh Lexa you are so tired...maybe we should not go out..but NAY this girl was from Miami -I should have known better. Those Latins do not sleep. God bless their crazy partying asses
I whip out the Four Lokos and I got the rundown on how to drink a Four Lokos the proper college pregaming way. I was told that you are supposed to chug a Four Lokos while smoking a cigerette so you cannot taste how nasty a Four Loko was. I did not mind the taste though. I luckily already had my makeup done, so I threw on a dress, chugged and walked over to the club.
I do not remember a lot from being out. I will tell you that I met a Turksih DJ that my girlfriend knew. He was different looking, but still hott in a weird Adrian Brody way. He was a DJ too, which I think is pretty sexy. I woke up in the morning to this Turkish guy all over me cuddling. FUCK...we have a cuddler on our hands.
He would not leave my bed for what seemed an eternity. We woke up super late around 11 and he did not leave until 1. He wanted to hang out with me and get breakfast too? Guys are fucking weird sometimes. Hello I just met you last night and I do not even remember your name. I think we had sex that morning too and he kept saying how great it was and I kept wanting him to leave.
Finally he left and he wanted me to go out with him that night!!!! I did not want to go out with him so he came to my house to get me to go out. I had just come home from Happy Hour and I was super lit. He was trying to get me to go to this indie, retro cool bar with a different alternative scene. I was in my happy hour shit attire and not sporting a swanky attire so I said I did not want to go out. Before we got to his house he stopped and got Red bull to try to get me to wake up! -What a fucking freak.
He kept saying that we'll have so much fun blah blah blah and I did not even have an ID. He then asked if I wanted to go home because clearly I was not having a good time with him, so I said yes! That mother fucking controlling Turk brought me to his house. He brought me to his house and five minutes later he left to go out. I passed out and the next morning he wanted to go to lunch and the thrift store and I did not want to jack with him. He brought me home and I ignored him for a while, while he texted me all the time. He finally got the point.
He sent me a picture of himself sticking up the middle finger after I texted him that I was not interested in him, and that there is someone else. Turkish men are controlling-LADIES STAY AWAY. Fuck that Turkish Delight.
P.S. The next time I had Four Lokos I had one and a half, went to a bar and could only stay there for twenty minutes because I was falling over AS SOON AS I GOT THERE. I am proud to say I have not had a Four Lokos since. I'll stick to shots of my dirty Skol.
Have you ever heard of Four Lokos?
If you have one, if you didn't black out-there is something wrong with you.
two-I heard the FDA is questioning whether caffine and alcohol should be combined in the drink and MAY GET BANNED!- So I am not crazy people. Check this out if you do not believe me for yourself!
So one night I went to dollar beers extremely blazed and took advantage of some beers. It was about 8:30 and I could only stay out until 10 because my Latin Fever girlfriend was coming over. Yes I was going to get drunk tonight.
Per our phone conversation earlier, she asked if I wanted to get Four Lokos before we went out (yes I was going to go out after dollar beers), I told her I had no idea what the fuck that was. She could not believe I never heard of them! Apparently it was the cool thing to do-wow I love not living on campus.
Also, this drink was super easy to get. All I had to do was go to the gas station and bam they had a couple of flavors. My spicy friend said grape was the best so I grabbed two. I have tried fruit punch after I had this Four Lokos and it tasted like ass.
I end up going to dollar beers and I get a pretty good buzz. It reaches about 10 and all I want to do is go home and smoke a fat blunt. This is why I cannot make plans.
Spicy Fever calls me to inform me she is on the way, and I did not want to cancel on her because I know she was looking forward to going out. She comes over and my eyes are on the verge of closing. I thought maybe any other person would say, oh Lexa you are so tired...maybe we should not go out..but NAY this girl was from Miami -I should have known better. Those Latins do not sleep. God bless their crazy partying asses
I whip out the Four Lokos and I got the rundown on how to drink a Four Lokos the proper college pregaming way. I was told that you are supposed to chug a Four Lokos while smoking a cigerette so you cannot taste how nasty a Four Loko was. I did not mind the taste though. I luckily already had my makeup done, so I threw on a dress, chugged and walked over to the club.
I do not remember a lot from being out. I will tell you that I met a Turksih DJ that my girlfriend knew. He was different looking, but still hott in a weird Adrian Brody way. He was a DJ too, which I think is pretty sexy. I woke up in the morning to this Turkish guy all over me cuddling. FUCK...we have a cuddler on our hands.
He would not leave my bed for what seemed an eternity. We woke up super late around 11 and he did not leave until 1. He wanted to hang out with me and get breakfast too? Guys are fucking weird sometimes. Hello I just met you last night and I do not even remember your name. I think we had sex that morning too and he kept saying how great it was and I kept wanting him to leave.
Finally he left and he wanted me to go out with him that night!!!! I did not want to go out with him so he came to my house to get me to go out. I had just come home from Happy Hour and I was super lit. He was trying to get me to go to this indie, retro cool bar with a different alternative scene. I was in my happy hour shit attire and not sporting a swanky attire so I said I did not want to go out. Before we got to his house he stopped and got Red bull to try to get me to wake up! -What a fucking freak.
He kept saying that we'll have so much fun blah blah blah and I did not even have an ID. He then asked if I wanted to go home because clearly I was not having a good time with him, so I said yes! That mother fucking controlling Turk brought me to his house. He brought me to his house and five minutes later he left to go out. I passed out and the next morning he wanted to go to lunch and the thrift store and I did not want to jack with him. He brought me home and I ignored him for a while, while he texted me all the time. He finally got the point.
He sent me a picture of himself sticking up the middle finger after I texted him that I was not interested in him, and that there is someone else. Turkish men are controlling-LADIES STAY AWAY. Fuck that Turkish Delight.
P.S. The next time I had Four Lokos I had one and a half, went to a bar and could only stay there for twenty minutes because I was falling over AS SOON AS I GOT THERE. I am proud to say I have not had a Four Lokos since. I'll stick to shots of my dirty Skol.
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