Hallo-who?

I manage to attract clingers. Ladies, you know what I mean. Say you are at a bar and you meet a guy, and then throughout the night you notice he keeps finding you and is adamant about getting ya digits. Clingers tend to be losers, but at first he usually seems cool, and then it is like THIS WHOLE OTHER PERSON comes out and you want to kill him. When he asked for my fucking number I should have COULD HAVE WOULD HAVE gave him the Tampa rejection hot line. That kid almost made my fucking phone explode from all the god dam text messages he sent like a pussy. I hate the word pussy too, I never use it-only when someone REALLY deserves it and let me tell you this guy was such a pussy.

It is friday night, I am wearing my pink crop top and white linen pants and super cute navy hat, mostly everyone else was dressed in their halloween costume. Most of my night went by, as I repeatedly responded I am not wearing a costume, I am me! And people thought I was not only drunk, but retarded. Ehh, not like I haven't heard it before. I probably am semi retarded from the amount of alcohol I consume. I am drinking a blood mary as we speak. I had a headache, and drank one and now feel way better. Yup, I think its safe to admit I am officially an alcoholic. I live every day like its my last anyways, so its all good.

Jesus christ am I rambling or what. Ok, so I keep making my rounds around the bar and end up talking to this guy in a chef costume. This is the most awful thing about Halloween costumes-who knows what the fuck is underneath their costume????? I am an idiot and really did not think that through either. I should have at least found a sexy clinger, but then again they never are sexy...are they?

I end up conversing about New York, and Dexter (like my two favorites thing) to this guy from New York in a fucking Dexter costume. Cool!-Yeah right. I thought he was cool and interesting to talk to, so like a drunken fool I gave him my number and shortly grew regretful. Well in my defense he did say we could smoke a blunt after happy hour....and how good does a blunt sound after like 9549835 mixed drinks at Happy Hour. I could not say no to a blunt.

He came back over and yes we had sex. Like I do not even want to discuss, he was decent looking but THE GUY DID NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP. He came into the girls and I house and kept rambling about the frat boys who lived there previously. Everyone in my house wanted to kill him because he was so annoying. He also was obsessed with me, no joke people. I told him my dad worked in the produce company and how he sells corn--the kid freaked out.

He then left to go home to get a pizza and more weed I think, so he came back over and I think we had sex again..ew Like I enjoyed it at the time but now I want to kill myself knowing who annoying and clinging he is now. I swear this guy must have been like a virgin or something. I fell asleep and my roomies came home at around 3 and found him on our couch eating a pizza watching t.v....do one night stands usually do that?

I should reevaluate the next one night stand I have. CLEARLY, these men are getting out of hand. The next day was Halloween and honestly, I am not exagerating he texted me maybe twenty times between the time he left and the time I left for Cabo. HE kept asking where I was and then called me rude for not answering me. He then asked if we could talk about the city and Dexter and how he missed me. Then after I ignored for him for 24 hours, he texted me the next day telling me he did not want to have sex and just wanted to smoke and hang out with me because he thought I was cool.

Like i haven't heard that one before you clever dumb shit. He has not talked to me in a couple of days which has been refreshing but let me paste the message he inboxed me on facebook:
Subject: I know you gots a Man or whatever in yo life (pssshhh)
November 5 at 12:28pm Report
corn girl--Alex babygirrl-- buttt if you ever get uninvolved with him or are ever in NY again I wanna talk more about your dad and corn, your stylish clothes you wear, and
how you can build some easy shelves for your bedroom to make it not so messy :-D

sorry for that weird whole miscommunication last week or whatever it was.


cool pic but be easy now playa, keep it fresh


I know exactly what you are thinking. The first thing I thought was, oh my god I hope he's drunk. The second thing I thought was omg did I really have sex with this loser? Poor guy, I really hope he was on something for his own sake of being a human form in this world because people like that cannot be serious. and the miscommunication HA--more like I DID NOT COMMUNICATE BACK TO YOU. Did he really not get that? I think I meet every type of wrong guy you are not supposed to end up with. Are there ANY normal guys out there!? And are you like hiding behind your Wii? I am giving up...maybe. It is possible that we are all just weird.