Hi Mom.

I love going back to the strong island. I love to indulge myself to free booze, free food, and great times with family...especially when your family is as fucking weird as mine. I arrived to JFK tuesday afternoon, obviously hammered from the excessive amounts of necessary bloody marys. But I gotta say, every time I fly I end up sitting next to older men and they always try to pick me up. Last time it was a lacrosse director-but he did not buy my bloddy marys, therefore he is probably cheap and he was cute but something was not right. On the way to JFK I had the liberty of sitting in between a father and his daughter, who was graduating high school. Her father was a talker. HE did not shut the fuck up the entire plane ride when all I wanted to do was drink and jam.

In the middle of the flight he told his daughter I looked like some girl they knew, so he shows me a picture ( warning me that the picture is a bit risque). Next thing I know I am staring at some exotic indian in lingerie....fucking great. I kind of just laughed and then got up to the bathroom to puke. I did not actually puke but I think I tried to.

I arrived to JFK pissed as ever because my moms boyfriend was lost trying to pick me up and I was drunk, hungry and wanted to go home. Especially because I have been at the god damn airport every weekend this month. I think I should move in there, I am not even fully moved into my house and I have lived here since August....opps.

Let me just give you the low down of what happened within the first night of my arrival:
1. My BFF is a drug dealer and brought me some herbs-got super high on my porch-my little sitter saw me and cried because she is now worried I will die? Maybe I should smoke more around here..because she sure never cared about me before...jut kidding but seriously...
2. Little sister then found my herbs and showed my mom. My mom covered for me and told her they were herbs from my roommates garden.
3. I scammed my little brother into giving me mad cash to get him alcohol so naturally I got him a little thing of Popov (by his facial expression, you would have thought the bottle came from heaven.little did he know how much that shit burns!) Oh yeah and he ended up getting alcohol poisoning
4. I am drunk.
5. Wednesday night I was too high to move.


Now for friday night-most of it is a blur. Let me start off with the morning after, I managed to get my lazy ass up from bed feeling MISERABLE, and then I swayed over to my bathroom where my two little eyes spied half a j side by side with a lighter by my sink? I stumbled around my house, confused about my night, ended up in the basement and found my jeans, and big black boots I wore the night before.

Fuck. It hits me- I was at my friend's party last night....and I brought home Matt (my friend from high school).
a. why the hell did I have sex with Matt?
b. I briefly remember the encounter with my mom last night....and I am pretty sure she ran into Matt too.

Oh and shit I realize I am supposed to go meet my friend for coffee...except I cannot find my purse. Then I started to think if I wore a jacket. I could not even remember what the fuck jacket I was wearing. I texted the girl whose house I was at and it turned out thankfully she had it. Next thing I know-I cannot find my fucking ipod. If you know me....my ipod is my life.

I drive over to the girl's house and pick up my jacket with my LICENSE, DEBIT CARD, AND IPOD! Whoa...thank god everyone was too shitfaced to make a robbery. Then I call my friend from last night and try to piece my night together. It turns out after chugging margartias, I arrived at the party, came out of a bathroom within the first five minutes and told my friend I made out with some guy 2 years younger than I? I basically gave every male my sex eyes and flrted hard core. On the way home, Matt and I were making out in my friends car and all my friends were so confused.

I am even more confused. When I got home my mom told me I could not have any boys trying to come over again. That night I went to the bars, came home and was convinced there was a man under my bed. I kept waking my mom up and she finally came into my room and found my cat....I would say I had a successful thanksgiving break with my family. Every day at 5PM it was happy hour in my house. What more could you ask for?