Super- BAD

My typical thursday night is usually a mess, but last night it was very messy-to say the least.

There is this guy Ryan I had sex with two saturdays ago. I do not know why I went home with Ryan...well actually I do. I am a girl with raging hormones. Ryan is also known as an asshole. I have never personally experienced this assholeness. He is one of the guys at school though where everyone knows he is that asshole. Of course I would have sex with an asshole.

Well I end up going to his dorm room at school and I noticed it looked familiar (the rooms are set up with a living area, kitchen and all of the 4 bedrooms have doors) Ryan and I start having sex and he could NOT get hard. My jaw almost permanently changed form because of all the work I was doing down there. I guess he was never raised on the belief that you have to give to receive because he did not go down on me.

All of a sudden I hear this loud tehno music coming from the bedroom next to him. He told me his roommate had to sleep to techno. Then I had an epiphany, I had sex with this techno roomie of his-multiple times. Last year actually and this year when we had sex he ALWAYS played techno!! I figured they would have quite a laugh the next day. Anyways about after about two hours of on and off mouthing hell, he finally decided to call it quits and we stopped trying to have sex. Don't get me wrong he was wasted, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The next morning I had to call my roomie and tell her to come campus to pick me up and I successfully leaved their dorm room without seeing the techno roommate which saved myself from a very, plausible awkward moment.

Now, now, let me get on with the mess of this story. Last night was open bar, I obviously was hitting the bar hard after my school week hell. I run into Ryan who was drinking scotch on the rocks, which can probably tell you how drunk he was already. Ryan and I are flirting blah blah he tells me that his roommate said, "Oh yeah Lexa, I tapped that last year." I was mortified and told myself wow I'm not a slut or anything. We were being those people dancing and hooking up (which of course is always harmless fun).

After Ryan egging me to leave with him I make him come to my apartment. Ryan and I are having sex and he CANNOT get hard. I was like seriously, my jaw will be out of my mouth by the time his limp dick could magically turn into wood. I am going down on him and he finally gets hard since I am so good at what I do, ha ha. Then we are having sex and he keeps asking me different positions. It was 3AM, I sucked him off for what seemed like was the most a girl should spend in her lifetime giving blow jobs.

I am like alright do me this way, do that and also this guy is older too. What has he been spending his precious college years doing? I mean whoever created a position such as reverse cowboy was probably a genuis of a man. He definitely thought about it when he was having sex in college. Clearly Ryan was not a "sexpert." Well ladies and gentleman after sexing for a while he finally comes. I know, I thought it would never happen either. Then I hear the question every girl dreads after sex, "Is that blood?"

I knew I was getting my period. This was not going to stop me obviously. I look over on my green sheets and there are little spots of blood. I guess christmas was coming early. My comforter is also white and there are little spots of red on it too. My only thought was fuck, now I have to do laundry. I find other blankets to hold us over for the night, he ended up sleeping on my matress basically with no sheets under him...opps-which also has spots of blood. The next morning turned out to be bloody awkward. There is a condom on my computer desk and another on my floor. Ew. We wake up and then he gets he looks at his jeans and asks yet, another dreadful question. "What is on my jeans?" I knew the answer to this one. Yup, there was a little spot of blood on his FAVORITE jeans apparently. I felt like I just reenacted the infamous period scene from "Superbad." My period blood was on his jeans. I looked at his facebook an hour ago. His status was "I did not keep it classy last night." I love assholes.