Bad Aiming

One night at the end of my summer in Miami I went to meet up with a friend. We shall call him Anus because that is what he loves. I had my grandma’s Audi, TT and of course I have had a couple beers but I was not shit faced so I was cool driving. I pick up Anus from this bar and we were going to head over to a new one, so all of a sudden I am driving in the middle of Miami on South Dixie Highway (major road), I am at a stop light and as soon as the light turned green, I went to step on the gas and nothing happened. Immediately I thought, wow, “this would happen to me.”

Luckily, a nice homeless man came riding by in his bike and offered to help. Anus and his friends also turned out to be pretty handy. The guys pushed that little silver baby on over to the Shell gas station right off the road and worked on that car. Naturally, I had no idea what the hell exactly was wrong with the car but I figured that they would be smart enough to figure it out, because then I would be royally fucked in my anus. My grandma also just got her car completely checked. Audi people...figures.

After about an hour of scraping off this random green shit on my grandma’s engine, we all leave to go to Anus’ friend’s place. We start playing some drinking games and next thing we know it is 4 am and all his friends are sleeping. So, we decided to go have our own little fun in Anus’s car.

I forgot what we were doing exactly but next thing I know he somehow managed to squirt out a fucking wad of cum into my eye. Yes, it’s true. The man got his fucking cum into my eye and frekin almost blinded me. I did not know it was possible for a man to be so off target but he was. I have never heard of a girl getting a load shot in her eye besides me of course. Maybe next time I have sex I should wear sunglasses. Females-BEWARE the next time you are pleasing a man, make sure he does not make you go get an eye patch because he can’t control his penis.