Lexa's first strip club

Please do not judge me, after you read this ... or well at least not too harshly

My grandparents luckily were leaving the country for about 3 weeks so I had to stay with my nutty, AWESOME aunt. I’ll call her Kidd. I was so fucking happy to get out of my grandparents place. Dude, whenever I made breakfast before work my grandfather hovered over me and had to inquire about important crap all the time. Old man, I just woke up and smoked a bowl and all I want to do is eat some eggs and be on my way to Cuba so I can listen to people bitch. There is nothing worse than a damn hoverer. I am all about my personal space, unless however you look like George Clooney, than you can get as close as you want.

Back to Kidd-so life with Kidd was crazed. I drank every night with her and her friend Cy. Cy lives in a Barbie Dream Mansion and owns a real pink hair salon that reminds me of the game Candy Land. At the Barbie Mansion it was all harmless fun. One night when I stayed with Kidd, I went to a strip club.

This was my first strip club experience. Let me tell you this was probably a most first intense experience. Kidd is with her “lover” and his friend, and they pick me up in lover boy’s old car and we head over to a strip club they want to hit up. We get there and I show them my fake id naturally, and of course I got denied. Then we move to a different club that is GHETTO but fabulous. We get to the strip club and I am pretty sure Kidd slipped the bouncer money to get in. Kidd, lover and friend automatically get a bottle.....big NO NO for Lexa.

I am in a strip club sober watching some girl who resembles Rhianna get on a pole and strip. Shit people of course I was hitting that bottle. I am on my first cocktail and the lover boy wants me to slip a couple dollars in her bra. Next thing I know I end up in a room with Rhianna’s twin and she is on top of me fingering me. Yup I turned into a lesbian that night.

Shit starts to get crazy when the next stripper goes on the pole, This girl is brunette and is covered in tats so we called her Amy Wineouse. Lover boy and his friend want to get a room for all of us. We enter a room where I guessed strippers would dance and fancy us all. Except, it did not exactly end up like that. My aunt walks in the room first and takes her top off, so only her double d fake’s are hanging out, lover boy’s friend is freaking out saying, “Whoa! I would have never guessed she had boobs!”-considering Kidd is pretty ultra conservative. I enter the room and the first thing I asked is, “where did the bottle go?” I am trying to get drunk as possible so I can actually feel comfortable with the fact that girls are going to rub up against me. After a couple of glasses of Chandon I feel better and my top is off. Whoops. Kidd’s lover is fingering me hardcore and Rhianna and I are making out. Rhianna starts to finger me as well. Amy starts to have fun with me too and begins to get on me. --The rest I do not remember, I only remember passing out and I peed the bed in Loverboy’s guest room. I was told the next morning that I was eaten out by Amy Winehouse. Yup. It’s official I am a lesbian,