I love going back to the strong island. I love to indulge myself to free booze, free food, and great times with family...especially when your family is as fucking weird as mine. I arrived to JFK tuesday afternoon, obviously hammered from the excessive amounts of necessary bloody marys. But I gotta say, every time I fly I end up sitting next to older men and they always try to pick me up. Last time it was a lacrosse director-but he did not buy my bloddy marys, therefore he is probably cheap and he was cute but something was not right. On the way to JFK I had the liberty of sitting in between a father and his daughter, who was graduating high school. Her father was a talker. HE did not shut the fuck up the entire plane ride when all I wanted to do was drink and jam.
In the middle of the flight he told his daughter I looked like some girl they knew, so he shows me a picture ( warning me that the picture is a bit risque). Next thing I know I am staring at some exotic indian in lingerie....fucking great. I kind of just laughed and then got up to the bathroom to puke. I did not actually puke but I think I tried to.
I arrived to JFK pissed as ever because my moms boyfriend was lost trying to pick me up and I was drunk, hungry and wanted to go home. Especially because I have been at the god damn airport every weekend this month. I think I should move in there, I am not even fully moved into my house and I have lived here since August....opps.
Let me just give you the low down of what happened within the first night of my arrival:
1. My BFF is a drug dealer and brought me some herbs-got super high on my porch-my little sitter saw me and cried because she is now worried I will die? Maybe I should smoke more around here..because she sure never cared about me before...jut kidding but seriously...
2. Little sister then found my herbs and showed my mom. My mom covered for me and told her they were herbs from my roommates garden.
3. I scammed my little brother into giving me mad cash to get him alcohol so naturally I got him a little thing of Popov (by his facial expression, you would have thought the bottle came from heaven.little did he know how much that shit burns!) Oh yeah and he ended up getting alcohol poisoning
4. I am drunk.
5. Wednesday night I was too high to move.
Now for friday night-most of it is a blur. Let me start off with the morning after, I managed to get my lazy ass up from bed feeling MISERABLE, and then I swayed over to my bathroom where my two little eyes spied half a j side by side with a lighter by my sink? I stumbled around my house, confused about my night, ended up in the basement and found my jeans, and big black boots I wore the night before.
Fuck. It hits me- I was at my friend's party last night....and I brought home Matt (my friend from high school).
a. why the hell did I have sex with Matt?
b. I briefly remember the encounter with my mom last night....and I am pretty sure she ran into Matt too.
Oh and shit I realize I am supposed to go meet my friend for coffee...except I cannot find my purse. Then I started to think if I wore a jacket. I could not even remember what the fuck jacket I was wearing. I texted the girl whose house I was at and it turned out thankfully she had it. Next thing I know-I cannot find my fucking ipod. If you know me....my ipod is my life.
I drive over to the girl's house and pick up my jacket with my LICENSE, DEBIT CARD, AND IPOD! Whoa...thank god everyone was too shitfaced to make a robbery. Then I call my friend from last night and try to piece my night together. It turns out after chugging margartias, I arrived at the party, came out of a bathroom within the first five minutes and told my friend I made out with some guy 2 years younger than I? I basically gave every male my sex eyes and flrted hard core. On the way home, Matt and I were making out in my friends car and all my friends were so confused.
I am even more confused. When I got home my mom told me I could not have any boys trying to come over again. That night I went to the bars, came home and was convinced there was a man under my bed. I kept waking my mom up and she finally came into my room and found my cat....I would say I had a successful thanksgiving break with my family. Every day at 5PM it was happy hour in my house. What more could you ask for?
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Hallo-who?
I manage to attract clingers. Ladies, you know what I mean. Say you are at a bar and you meet a guy, and then throughout the night you notice he keeps finding you and is adamant about getting ya digits. Clingers tend to be losers, but at first he usually seems cool, and then it is like THIS WHOLE OTHER PERSON comes out and you want to kill him. When he asked for my fucking number I should have COULD HAVE WOULD HAVE gave him the Tampa rejection hot line. That kid almost made my fucking phone explode from all the god dam text messages he sent like a pussy. I hate the word pussy too, I never use it-only when someone REALLY deserves it and let me tell you this guy was such a pussy.
It is friday night, I am wearing my pink crop top and white linen pants and super cute navy hat, mostly everyone else was dressed in their halloween costume. Most of my night went by, as I repeatedly responded I am not wearing a costume, I am me! And people thought I was not only drunk, but retarded. Ehh, not like I haven't heard it before. I probably am semi retarded from the amount of alcohol I consume. I am drinking a blood mary as we speak. I had a headache, and drank one and now feel way better. Yup, I think its safe to admit I am officially an alcoholic. I live every day like its my last anyways, so its all good.
Jesus christ am I rambling or what. Ok, so I keep making my rounds around the bar and end up talking to this guy in a chef costume. This is the most awful thing about Halloween costumes-who knows what the fuck is underneath their costume????? I am an idiot and really did not think that through either. I should have at least found a sexy clinger, but then again they never are sexy...are they?
I end up conversing about New York, and Dexter (like my two favorites thing) to this guy from New York in a fucking Dexter costume. Cool!-Yeah right. I thought he was cool and interesting to talk to, so like a drunken fool I gave him my number and shortly grew regretful. Well in my defense he did say we could smoke a blunt after happy hour....and how good does a blunt sound after like 9549835 mixed drinks at Happy Hour. I could not say no to a blunt.
He came back over and yes we had sex. Like I do not even want to discuss, he was decent looking but THE GUY DID NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP. He came into the girls and I house and kept rambling about the frat boys who lived there previously. Everyone in my house wanted to kill him because he was so annoying. He also was obsessed with me, no joke people. I told him my dad worked in the produce company and how he sells corn--the kid freaked out.
He then left to go home to get a pizza and more weed I think, so he came back over and I think we had sex again..ew Like I enjoyed it at the time but now I want to kill myself knowing who annoying and clinging he is now. I swear this guy must have been like a virgin or something. I fell asleep and my roomies came home at around 3 and found him on our couch eating a pizza watching t.v....do one night stands usually do that?
I should reevaluate the next one night stand I have. CLEARLY, these men are getting out of hand. The next day was Halloween and honestly, I am not exagerating he texted me maybe twenty times between the time he left and the time I left for Cabo. HE kept asking where I was and then called me rude for not answering me. He then asked if we could talk about the city and Dexter and how he missed me. Then after I ignored for him for 24 hours, he texted me the next day telling me he did not want to have sex and just wanted to smoke and hang out with me because he thought I was cool.
Like i haven't heard that one before you clever dumb shit. He has not talked to me in a couple of days which has been refreshing but let me paste the message he inboxed me on facebook:
Subject: I know you gots a Man or whatever in yo life (pssshhh)
November 5 at 12:28pm Report
corn girl--Alex babygirrl-- buttt if you ever get uninvolved with him or are ever in NY again I wanna talk more about your dad and corn, your stylish clothes you wear, and
how you can build some easy shelves for your bedroom to make it not so messy :-D
sorry for that weird whole miscommunication last week or whatever it was.
cool pic but be easy now playa, keep it fresh
I know exactly what you are thinking. The first thing I thought was, oh my god I hope he's drunk. The second thing I thought was omg did I really have sex with this loser? Poor guy, I really hope he was on something for his own sake of being a human form in this world because people like that cannot be serious. and the miscommunication HA--more like I DID NOT COMMUNICATE BACK TO YOU. Did he really not get that? I think I meet every type of wrong guy you are not supposed to end up with. Are there ANY normal guys out there!? And are you like hiding behind your Wii? I am giving up...maybe. It is possible that we are all just weird.
It is friday night, I am wearing my pink crop top and white linen pants and super cute navy hat, mostly everyone else was dressed in their halloween costume. Most of my night went by, as I repeatedly responded I am not wearing a costume, I am me! And people thought I was not only drunk, but retarded. Ehh, not like I haven't heard it before. I probably am semi retarded from the amount of alcohol I consume. I am drinking a blood mary as we speak. I had a headache, and drank one and now feel way better. Yup, I think its safe to admit I am officially an alcoholic. I live every day like its my last anyways, so its all good.
Jesus christ am I rambling or what. Ok, so I keep making my rounds around the bar and end up talking to this guy in a chef costume. This is the most awful thing about Halloween costumes-who knows what the fuck is underneath their costume????? I am an idiot and really did not think that through either. I should have at least found a sexy clinger, but then again they never are sexy...are they?
I end up conversing about New York, and Dexter (like my two favorites thing) to this guy from New York in a fucking Dexter costume. Cool!-Yeah right. I thought he was cool and interesting to talk to, so like a drunken fool I gave him my number and shortly grew regretful. Well in my defense he did say we could smoke a blunt after happy hour....and how good does a blunt sound after like 9549835 mixed drinks at Happy Hour. I could not say no to a blunt.
He came back over and yes we had sex. Like I do not even want to discuss, he was decent looking but THE GUY DID NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP. He came into the girls and I house and kept rambling about the frat boys who lived there previously. Everyone in my house wanted to kill him because he was so annoying. He also was obsessed with me, no joke people. I told him my dad worked in the produce company and how he sells corn--the kid freaked out.
He then left to go home to get a pizza and more weed I think, so he came back over and I think we had sex again..ew Like I enjoyed it at the time but now I want to kill myself knowing who annoying and clinging he is now. I swear this guy must have been like a virgin or something. I fell asleep and my roomies came home at around 3 and found him on our couch eating a pizza watching t.v....do one night stands usually do that?
I should reevaluate the next one night stand I have. CLEARLY, these men are getting out of hand. The next day was Halloween and honestly, I am not exagerating he texted me maybe twenty times between the time he left and the time I left for Cabo. HE kept asking where I was and then called me rude for not answering me. He then asked if we could talk about the city and Dexter and how he missed me. Then after I ignored for him for 24 hours, he texted me the next day telling me he did not want to have sex and just wanted to smoke and hang out with me because he thought I was cool.
Like i haven't heard that one before you clever dumb shit. He has not talked to me in a couple of days which has been refreshing but let me paste the message he inboxed me on facebook:
Subject: I know you gots a Man or whatever in yo life (pssshhh)
November 5 at 12:28pm Report
corn girl--Alex babygirrl-- buttt if you ever get uninvolved with him or are ever in NY again I wanna talk more about your dad and corn, your stylish clothes you wear, and
how you can build some easy shelves for your bedroom to make it not so messy :-D
sorry for that weird whole miscommunication last week or whatever it was.
cool pic but be easy now playa, keep it fresh
I know exactly what you are thinking. The first thing I thought was, oh my god I hope he's drunk. The second thing I thought was omg did I really have sex with this loser? Poor guy, I really hope he was on something for his own sake of being a human form in this world because people like that cannot be serious. and the miscommunication HA--more like I DID NOT COMMUNICATE BACK TO YOU. Did he really not get that? I think I meet every type of wrong guy you are not supposed to end up with. Are there ANY normal guys out there!? And are you like hiding behind your Wii? I am giving up...maybe. It is possible that we are all just weird.
Cabo: ROUND TWO
Yes bitches. I was cordially invited to Cabo again. The plan was I going to leave sunday (the day of halloween) at 4AM. I was going to leave CAbo on tuesday because my teacher would kill me if I missed his class wednesday. Luckily, I did not get too shitfaced so I was able to make my flight and I did not fall asleep on the way to the airport this time! I did pack when I was drunk though so when I reached security I was treated like a terrorist because I packed my entire bathroom into my carry on. I had to throw out all my face wash, lotions and hair products...lesson learned-do not pack while consuming alcohol, especially on the saturday night before Halloween.
I successfully got on my plane and woke up in Dallas, to that over enormous airport. I guess everything in Dallas is bigger! I sit by our terminal for Cabo and was waiting for my man to get off his plane. I tried to look really busy and not like I was anxiously, waiting for him (not that I was or anything....). I got on my laptop and then I looked at my phone and he messaged me that he landed. I told him where I was and I looked up and saw him walking holding a box of chocolates for me! He knows how much I love those chocolate covered oreos and strawberries :)
The first thing he said was that we have to change my ticket to leave wednesday with him. I thought for five seconds while biting my scrumtious oreo and said to myself...I am going to Cabo for free until tuesday with a sexy man...I would be crazy to say no. After too many first class bloody marys on the plane to Cabo, and many pesos later we changed my ticket to wednesday. On the plane we kept sneaking kisses and could not wait to reach our destination. He was so happy when we arrived, flaunting his spanish skills and saying hi to everyone who remembers him. He loves feeling like a little celebrity to those mexicans, god he is so cocky.
We made love late that day and did not plan on leaving bed until the next morning. In our hotel room there was even a little pool! We did not take advantage of that like I thought we would. The next day his friends came into town. Uh oh. They each brought a girlfriend as well. One of the men was single, and the other was what they call "I am going through a rough patch right now," (meaning i am married but it sucks so I need to have a girl on the side). His friends were happy to see me and wanted me to come on this trip because I keep the party alive and more importantly find them all girls.
After we saw the boys and their accessories, the man and I took a long drive out to the middle of nowhere so he could get some Surf in. On the way there I decided to excite him into giving him a little roadhead. He naturally went wild and we had to pull over in the middle of the desert to have sex. There is nothing better than some hot sweaty mexican sex, only if you have a nice cold Pacifico (mexican beer) afterwards
That night all the "couples" headed over to the pregame house so his butler could prepare us Maragaritas, then we were going to grab sushi, more drinks, and then dance our asses off. I was on a mission to get shitfaced that night because I had a nurse costume I wanted to wear when we got back. After dancing we all squeezed in a cab and every one was attacking their dates, one of the girls even went down on her man in the cab. I don't know if I could do that yo. She had some skill though, I could barely tell she was!
I dressed up in my sexy costume and he loved it. We role played a little which is always fun to me and stayed up for a very long time. The next day and night, we basically hung out and made love-same old same old. I was so sad to leave Cabo again, but I think I will be back there sooner than I think! THe fun did not end there either.
On the plane ride back to Dallas, we were drinking bloody marys like we were flying into our deathbed. When we got off the plane, he could barely walk and I was just giggling. We talked about sex probably the entire two and a half hour flight. He was hard, I was horny and sad he was leaving and wanted him once more. Before our connecting flight departed we went to the shower room at the Admirals Club and had steamy passionate sex.
It was so great because they were closing up the showers so we had to be quick and quiet and it would be the last time until I see him again on a random weekend. Airport sex and desert sex. I love firsts!
I successfully got on my plane and woke up in Dallas, to that over enormous airport. I guess everything in Dallas is bigger! I sit by our terminal for Cabo and was waiting for my man to get off his plane. I tried to look really busy and not like I was anxiously, waiting for him (not that I was or anything....). I got on my laptop and then I looked at my phone and he messaged me that he landed. I told him where I was and I looked up and saw him walking holding a box of chocolates for me! He knows how much I love those chocolate covered oreos and strawberries :)
The first thing he said was that we have to change my ticket to leave wednesday with him. I thought for five seconds while biting my scrumtious oreo and said to myself...I am going to Cabo for free until tuesday with a sexy man...I would be crazy to say no. After too many first class bloody marys on the plane to Cabo, and many pesos later we changed my ticket to wednesday. On the plane we kept sneaking kisses and could not wait to reach our destination. He was so happy when we arrived, flaunting his spanish skills and saying hi to everyone who remembers him. He loves feeling like a little celebrity to those mexicans, god he is so cocky.
We made love late that day and did not plan on leaving bed until the next morning. In our hotel room there was even a little pool! We did not take advantage of that like I thought we would. The next day his friends came into town. Uh oh. They each brought a girlfriend as well. One of the men was single, and the other was what they call "I am going through a rough patch right now," (meaning i am married but it sucks so I need to have a girl on the side). His friends were happy to see me and wanted me to come on this trip because I keep the party alive and more importantly find them all girls.
After we saw the boys and their accessories, the man and I took a long drive out to the middle of nowhere so he could get some Surf in. On the way there I decided to excite him into giving him a little roadhead. He naturally went wild and we had to pull over in the middle of the desert to have sex. There is nothing better than some hot sweaty mexican sex, only if you have a nice cold Pacifico (mexican beer) afterwards
That night all the "couples" headed over to the pregame house so his butler could prepare us Maragaritas, then we were going to grab sushi, more drinks, and then dance our asses off. I was on a mission to get shitfaced that night because I had a nurse costume I wanted to wear when we got back. After dancing we all squeezed in a cab and every one was attacking their dates, one of the girls even went down on her man in the cab. I don't know if I could do that yo. She had some skill though, I could barely tell she was!
I dressed up in my sexy costume and he loved it. We role played a little which is always fun to me and stayed up for a very long time. The next day and night, we basically hung out and made love-same old same old. I was so sad to leave Cabo again, but I think I will be back there sooner than I think! THe fun did not end there either.
On the plane ride back to Dallas, we were drinking bloody marys like we were flying into our deathbed. When we got off the plane, he could barely walk and I was just giggling. We talked about sex probably the entire two and a half hour flight. He was hard, I was horny and sad he was leaving and wanted him once more. Before our connecting flight departed we went to the shower room at the Admirals Club and had steamy passionate sex.
It was so great because they were closing up the showers so we had to be quick and quiet and it would be the last time until I see him again on a random weekend. Airport sex and desert sex. I love firsts!
Stay Classy Now
My sugardaddy and I have been seeing each other sporadically on weekends and such. One night my favorite dark chocolate car driver came to pick me up in his suit and tie to take me to The Ritz to meet up with my not so much man of mine...but whatever. We go to our room and it naturally has a balcony and is super nice and spacious. He also brought party favors. They are called poppers, they are some kind of nitrate that gets released when you pop this seal. It releases this aroma that makes you feel super relaxed and heightens your orgasm.
I wanted him so bad! And he wanted me just as badly..hehe....he slowly undressed me and we made such great love!!!! Please, try a popper. I had never felt so relaxed during sex. It was amazing. We went on for a while, napped and then wanted to go eat. Fabulous Sex and I was yet to go to a delicious dinner...I loved life. We went to dinner and I was sipping on a super strong Martini. The bartenders were trying to figure out how we knew each other. At first we said family and they knew we were full of shit, especially because we cannot keep out hands away from each other or our flirtacious looks.
After my second martini I wanted to go back to the hotel and take him down. I just love older men, I don't know if the ones I just meet but I feel like they are so confident and sexy and I do like how he takes control sometimes. After we shared a yummy piece of cheesecake we sped away in his Porsche convertible and I felt so good! We came back to the hotel smoked a blunt and I am sure you can guess the rest.
The next morning we ordered breakfast in bed and the man who brought it up called me Mrs...so and so and I nearly had a heart attack. He left for a meeting after breakfast and before I had to leave I scoped out the room for goodies. I had to quickly grab some freebies, like towels, utensils, shampoo...I almost grabbed the blow drier too. It's not like I was paying that room bill. That night my dad came into town and he stayed at the hotel right next to The Ritz. Life is too bizarre.
I wanted him so bad! And he wanted me just as badly..hehe....he slowly undressed me and we made such great love!!!! Please, try a popper. I had never felt so relaxed during sex. It was amazing. We went on for a while, napped and then wanted to go eat. Fabulous Sex and I was yet to go to a delicious dinner...I loved life. We went to dinner and I was sipping on a super strong Martini. The bartenders were trying to figure out how we knew each other. At first we said family and they knew we were full of shit, especially because we cannot keep out hands away from each other or our flirtacious looks.
After my second martini I wanted to go back to the hotel and take him down. I just love older men, I don't know if the ones I just meet but I feel like they are so confident and sexy and I do like how he takes control sometimes. After we shared a yummy piece of cheesecake we sped away in his Porsche convertible and I felt so good! We came back to the hotel smoked a blunt and I am sure you can guess the rest.
The next morning we ordered breakfast in bed and the man who brought it up called me Mrs...so and so and I nearly had a heart attack. He left for a meeting after breakfast and before I had to leave I scoped out the room for goodies. I had to quickly grab some freebies, like towels, utensils, shampoo...I almost grabbed the blow drier too. It's not like I was paying that room bill. That night my dad came into town and he stayed at the hotel right next to The Ritz. Life is too bizarre.
FUCK Four Locos.
The semester has begun, and Lexa has tried to chill because she has grown fond of her sugardaddy, yes some sexual incidents have spring up. My BAC level and hormone level can only stay low for such a short period.
Have you ever heard of Four Lokos?
If you have one, if you didn't black out-there is something wrong with you.
two-I heard the FDA is questioning whether caffine and alcohol should be combined in the drink and MAY GET BANNED!- So I am not crazy people. Check this out if you do not believe me for yourself!
So one night I went to dollar beers extremely blazed and took advantage of some beers. It was about 8:30 and I could only stay out until 10 because my Latin Fever girlfriend was coming over. Yes I was going to get drunk tonight.
Per our phone conversation earlier, she asked if I wanted to get Four Lokos before we went out (yes I was going to go out after dollar beers), I told her I had no idea what the fuck that was. She could not believe I never heard of them! Apparently it was the cool thing to do-wow I love not living on campus.
Also, this drink was super easy to get. All I had to do was go to the gas station and bam they had a couple of flavors. My spicy friend said grape was the best so I grabbed two. I have tried fruit punch after I had this Four Lokos and it tasted like ass.
I end up going to dollar beers and I get a pretty good buzz. It reaches about 10 and all I want to do is go home and smoke a fat blunt. This is why I cannot make plans.
Spicy Fever calls me to inform me she is on the way, and I did not want to cancel on her because I know she was looking forward to going out. She comes over and my eyes are on the verge of closing. I thought maybe any other person would say, oh Lexa you are so tired...maybe we should not go out..but NAY this girl was from Miami -I should have known better. Those Latins do not sleep. God bless their crazy partying asses
I whip out the Four Lokos and I got the rundown on how to drink a Four Lokos the proper college pregaming way. I was told that you are supposed to chug a Four Lokos while smoking a cigerette so you cannot taste how nasty a Four Loko was. I did not mind the taste though. I luckily already had my makeup done, so I threw on a dress, chugged and walked over to the club.
I do not remember a lot from being out. I will tell you that I met a Turksih DJ that my girlfriend knew. He was different looking, but still hott in a weird Adrian Brody way. He was a DJ too, which I think is pretty sexy. I woke up in the morning to this Turkish guy all over me cuddling. FUCK...we have a cuddler on our hands.
He would not leave my bed for what seemed an eternity. We woke up super late around 11 and he did not leave until 1. He wanted to hang out with me and get breakfast too? Guys are fucking weird sometimes. Hello I just met you last night and I do not even remember your name. I think we had sex that morning too and he kept saying how great it was and I kept wanting him to leave.
Finally he left and he wanted me to go out with him that night!!!! I did not want to go out with him so he came to my house to get me to go out. I had just come home from Happy Hour and I was super lit. He was trying to get me to go to this indie, retro cool bar with a different alternative scene. I was in my happy hour shit attire and not sporting a swanky attire so I said I did not want to go out. Before we got to his house he stopped and got Red bull to try to get me to wake up! -What a fucking freak.
He kept saying that we'll have so much fun blah blah blah and I did not even have an ID. He then asked if I wanted to go home because clearly I was not having a good time with him, so I said yes! That mother fucking controlling Turk brought me to his house. He brought me to his house and five minutes later he left to go out. I passed out and the next morning he wanted to go to lunch and the thrift store and I did not want to jack with him. He brought me home and I ignored him for a while, while he texted me all the time. He finally got the point.
He sent me a picture of himself sticking up the middle finger after I texted him that I was not interested in him, and that there is someone else. Turkish men are controlling-LADIES STAY AWAY. Fuck that Turkish Delight.
P.S. The next time I had Four Lokos I had one and a half, went to a bar and could only stay there for twenty minutes because I was falling over AS SOON AS I GOT THERE. I am proud to say I have not had a Four Lokos since. I'll stick to shots of my dirty Skol.
Have you ever heard of Four Lokos?
If you have one, if you didn't black out-there is something wrong with you.
two-I heard the FDA is questioning whether caffine and alcohol should be combined in the drink and MAY GET BANNED!- So I am not crazy people. Check this out if you do not believe me for yourself!
So one night I went to dollar beers extremely blazed and took advantage of some beers. It was about 8:30 and I could only stay out until 10 because my Latin Fever girlfriend was coming over. Yes I was going to get drunk tonight.
Per our phone conversation earlier, she asked if I wanted to get Four Lokos before we went out (yes I was going to go out after dollar beers), I told her I had no idea what the fuck that was. She could not believe I never heard of them! Apparently it was the cool thing to do-wow I love not living on campus.
Also, this drink was super easy to get. All I had to do was go to the gas station and bam they had a couple of flavors. My spicy friend said grape was the best so I grabbed two. I have tried fruit punch after I had this Four Lokos and it tasted like ass.
I end up going to dollar beers and I get a pretty good buzz. It reaches about 10 and all I want to do is go home and smoke a fat blunt. This is why I cannot make plans.
Spicy Fever calls me to inform me she is on the way, and I did not want to cancel on her because I know she was looking forward to going out. She comes over and my eyes are on the verge of closing. I thought maybe any other person would say, oh Lexa you are so tired...maybe we should not go out..but NAY this girl was from Miami -I should have known better. Those Latins do not sleep. God bless their crazy partying asses
I whip out the Four Lokos and I got the rundown on how to drink a Four Lokos the proper college pregaming way. I was told that you are supposed to chug a Four Lokos while smoking a cigerette so you cannot taste how nasty a Four Loko was. I did not mind the taste though. I luckily already had my makeup done, so I threw on a dress, chugged and walked over to the club.
I do not remember a lot from being out. I will tell you that I met a Turksih DJ that my girlfriend knew. He was different looking, but still hott in a weird Adrian Brody way. He was a DJ too, which I think is pretty sexy. I woke up in the morning to this Turkish guy all over me cuddling. FUCK...we have a cuddler on our hands.
He would not leave my bed for what seemed an eternity. We woke up super late around 11 and he did not leave until 1. He wanted to hang out with me and get breakfast too? Guys are fucking weird sometimes. Hello I just met you last night and I do not even remember your name. I think we had sex that morning too and he kept saying how great it was and I kept wanting him to leave.
Finally he left and he wanted me to go out with him that night!!!! I did not want to go out with him so he came to my house to get me to go out. I had just come home from Happy Hour and I was super lit. He was trying to get me to go to this indie, retro cool bar with a different alternative scene. I was in my happy hour shit attire and not sporting a swanky attire so I said I did not want to go out. Before we got to his house he stopped and got Red bull to try to get me to wake up! -What a fucking freak.
He kept saying that we'll have so much fun blah blah blah and I did not even have an ID. He then asked if I wanted to go home because clearly I was not having a good time with him, so I said yes! That mother fucking controlling Turk brought me to his house. He brought me to his house and five minutes later he left to go out. I passed out and the next morning he wanted to go to lunch and the thrift store and I did not want to jack with him. He brought me home and I ignored him for a while, while he texted me all the time. He finally got the point.
He sent me a picture of himself sticking up the middle finger after I texted him that I was not interested in him, and that there is someone else. Turkish men are controlling-LADIES STAY AWAY. Fuck that Turkish Delight.
P.S. The next time I had Four Lokos I had one and a half, went to a bar and could only stay there for twenty minutes because I was falling over AS SOON AS I GOT THERE. I am proud to say I have not had a Four Lokos since. I'll stick to shots of my dirty Skol.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Let it begin
I wake up in a foggy daze out of the gate and line up so I can sleep for ever! I head over to my nice comfy seat in first class and snooze the morning/night away. We met at the airport and he was obviously on his other lover, Blackberry, working. Then he left and messaged me that he had a surprise and came back holding a box of chocolates including- chocolate covered strawberries, mints and Oreos (my favorite)! He knows how much I love sweets:) I left the box on the plane. Clearly, some one had one too many bloody mary’s.
When we reached the beautiful island we were smashed like hash. He knew his way around well, and the plan was that the first night we were going to stay in a beautiful suite and then after we picked up my roomie we were to move in a Villa -bitchesssssss. We picked up our huge car for the ride-to hold his surf board. All the employees at the hotel were extremely attentive and nice. They spoke spanish and english mucho bueno.
They had the best pools and ocean views of anywhere I had ever stayed! I was in total awe, I tried hard not to show it. I kept telling him this 5 star rated beauty was o.k. They brought us delicious snacks and drinks as welcoming too....score... We made love as soon as the employees dropped off our bags, it was so great and hot. He kept telling me I was going to ware him out, but I knew that was total bullshit.
We were both pretty whipped out that night, we were traveling and driving around all day. After taking a nap and having more sex (as I predicted) we decided to have a bite to eat but we weren’t feeling the menu (we really wanted fish tacos) so Lexa had margarita’s for dinner. Yum.
The next day I slept for a while, and my phone had died. My roomie had texted me that she felt weird about coming which I understood but was kind of sad about because I knew she would have loved the island, for its beauty and fun and because of the free alcohol and food. He was a little disappointed just for the fact that the non-refundable tickets were now a waste of 1,000.00. Opps....At least we still had the Villa.
In the afternoon I started to meet some more of his friends. Check this out-they were all married but one and none of them were wearing rings. They wanted me to recruit women for them when we went out. I cannot believe this is reality. Don’t get me wrong all the guys were great fun. They knew had to drink, party hard and make a girl laugh. It was the best when we all went to dinner and they kept hitting on girls at the tables, and then I had to come over and assure the girls that the men were harmless, and they honestly were harmless. They just like to have fun and live the young life when they have the oppurtunity to.
The next night we kept it pretty low key and went to get the best sushi ever! We were exhausted so we did not go out with the crazy boys. Apparently, one night one of the nice guys encountered a grenade and had to talk to the ugly bombshell for hours so his seperated friend could get his vacation sex on. The whole trip we basically made love, drank, ate great food, danced and went to awesome bars. It was awesome!! I love day drinking too. The last night before we all had to leave, we went to this sick rock bar and I danced in a cage by myself...naturally. I planned on getting pretty drunk..I needed confidence to wear this sexy outfit for him later...his birthday was coming up. One of his friends who is about late 40’s (has a 27 year old) approached a table with two younger girls who looked barely 21 a father, younger brother, and mother. He asked the father’s permission to dance with one of his daughters. I was sent to assure the father that he was not crazy, yet strangely serious. The father asked me if he was my dad, I laughed and walked away.
We left the club late and had great last night love and he loved my outfit. He fucking better have. He also claims that he has has never cheated on his wife before and out of the all years they were married, I am the first one. This I find hard to believe. He knows many stealth ways and at the airport I couldn’t even kiss him. I feel like there is a science and certain way of going about every thing, money transfers, public areas and don’t be PDA.
I was really sad the next day to leave. I thought I would be happier, I loved the treatment, the smell of the soaps and lotions, the view, sex, all the attention he gave me, margartias and fresh fish! Oh yeah and I would miss him, weird how that works. He kept asking me during the trip, “what will happen when you fall in love with me?” I said I am not allowed to love him and that he is off limits. Fuck though, I cannot fall in love with him. Lexa needs to focus on money not man.
The plane ride we did not end up riding together because I cost him more money and fucked up the date I reserved to depart the island. I should not confuse drinking and booking flight tickets together, but that is a WHOLE OTHER STORY. I had to sit in coach...next to a child right out of the womb. Instantly I scanned the rows for the nearest stuartists. I spy the bitty at 12 o’clock making her way closer to my seat and I rush to grab my card and cash for a tip! I catch her and assure her I will need her to keep sending the bloody mary’s to my seat. She kept bringing them and the flight got way better.
I was less sad to leave my hunny, but I still would miss him. We were both super wasted at the airport and made a story at the bar how we just met. It was so fun! I snuck in a kiss good bye before we left for our connecting flights. Next flight I got onto I kept drinking away and the flight went by so much faster, except I kept spelling my drink and speaking really loud. I started to get dirty looks, and when I got up to go to the bathroom re-tracking my seat was always a mission impossible.
I practically fell out of the seat covered in the bags I am carrying, one of the handles even broke on me. He gave more money when I left too, so when my roomie got me from the airport I was starving and I went to the nicest steakhouse in town so we could smoke and then eat cheeseburgers. It was the best idea ever!
When we reached the beautiful island we were smashed like hash. He knew his way around well, and the plan was that the first night we were going to stay in a beautiful suite and then after we picked up my roomie we were to move in a Villa -bitchesssssss. We picked up our huge car for the ride-to hold his surf board. All the employees at the hotel were extremely attentive and nice. They spoke spanish and english mucho bueno.
They had the best pools and ocean views of anywhere I had ever stayed! I was in total awe, I tried hard not to show it. I kept telling him this 5 star rated beauty was o.k. They brought us delicious snacks and drinks as welcoming too....score... We made love as soon as the employees dropped off our bags, it was so great and hot. He kept telling me I was going to ware him out, but I knew that was total bullshit.
We were both pretty whipped out that night, we were traveling and driving around all day. After taking a nap and having more sex (as I predicted) we decided to have a bite to eat but we weren’t feeling the menu (we really wanted fish tacos) so Lexa had margarita’s for dinner. Yum.
The next day I slept for a while, and my phone had died. My roomie had texted me that she felt weird about coming which I understood but was kind of sad about because I knew she would have loved the island, for its beauty and fun and because of the free alcohol and food. He was a little disappointed just for the fact that the non-refundable tickets were now a waste of 1,000.00. Opps....At least we still had the Villa.
In the afternoon I started to meet some more of his friends. Check this out-they were all married but one and none of them were wearing rings. They wanted me to recruit women for them when we went out. I cannot believe this is reality. Don’t get me wrong all the guys were great fun. They knew had to drink, party hard and make a girl laugh. It was the best when we all went to dinner and they kept hitting on girls at the tables, and then I had to come over and assure the girls that the men were harmless, and they honestly were harmless. They just like to have fun and live the young life when they have the oppurtunity to.
The next night we kept it pretty low key and went to get the best sushi ever! We were exhausted so we did not go out with the crazy boys. Apparently, one night one of the nice guys encountered a grenade and had to talk to the ugly bombshell for hours so his seperated friend could get his vacation sex on. The whole trip we basically made love, drank, ate great food, danced and went to awesome bars. It was awesome!! I love day drinking too. The last night before we all had to leave, we went to this sick rock bar and I danced in a cage by myself...naturally. I planned on getting pretty drunk..I needed confidence to wear this sexy outfit for him later...his birthday was coming up. One of his friends who is about late 40’s (has a 27 year old) approached a table with two younger girls who looked barely 21 a father, younger brother, and mother. He asked the father’s permission to dance with one of his daughters. I was sent to assure the father that he was not crazy, yet strangely serious. The father asked me if he was my dad, I laughed and walked away.
We left the club late and had great last night love and he loved my outfit. He fucking better have. He also claims that he has has never cheated on his wife before and out of the all years they were married, I am the first one. This I find hard to believe. He knows many stealth ways and at the airport I couldn’t even kiss him. I feel like there is a science and certain way of going about every thing, money transfers, public areas and don’t be PDA.
I was really sad the next day to leave. I thought I would be happier, I loved the treatment, the smell of the soaps and lotions, the view, sex, all the attention he gave me, margartias and fresh fish! Oh yeah and I would miss him, weird how that works. He kept asking me during the trip, “what will happen when you fall in love with me?” I said I am not allowed to love him and that he is off limits. Fuck though, I cannot fall in love with him. Lexa needs to focus on money not man.
The plane ride we did not end up riding together because I cost him more money and fucked up the date I reserved to depart the island. I should not confuse drinking and booking flight tickets together, but that is a WHOLE OTHER STORY. I had to sit in coach...next to a child right out of the womb. Instantly I scanned the rows for the nearest stuartists. I spy the bitty at 12 o’clock making her way closer to my seat and I rush to grab my card and cash for a tip! I catch her and assure her I will need her to keep sending the bloody mary’s to my seat. She kept bringing them and the flight got way better.
I was less sad to leave my hunny, but I still would miss him. We were both super wasted at the airport and made a story at the bar how we just met. It was so fun! I snuck in a kiss good bye before we left for our connecting flights. Next flight I got onto I kept drinking away and the flight went by so much faster, except I kept spelling my drink and speaking really loud. I started to get dirty looks, and when I got up to go to the bathroom re-tracking my seat was always a mission impossible.
I practically fell out of the seat covered in the bags I am carrying, one of the handles even broke on me. He gave more money when I left too, so when my roomie got me from the airport I was starving and I went to the nicest steakhouse in town so we could smoke and then eat cheeseburgers. It was the best idea ever!
Just made it
Now, we are pinning each other and I am telling him how much I love my roommate. I tell him how fun and crazy she is, so he put money in my account to get her a ticket 2 days before I left. THe only issue was she would have to leave by herself, and she was a litttle nervous considering she and I both knew that this was crazy of me to go to foreign country with a stranger. I thought, not a bad first date.
He puts more money into my account because he asked if I needed more for shopping...he he he. I think you all know how I responded to that question. Then it ends up being the night before I had to leave for Fiji. My flight left at 3:30 AM, left just say my other roomie was coming home that night and we were celebrating like rock stars. I tried to make my all friends stay up and believe me NOTHING made them stay up.
So Im fucked up and packing for what see,s to be a near month or two. I have like three carry on bags because I was finding bags and random shit I had to shove in places. I am doing my make up, and not even that is making me look presentable. I call a cab and then pass out, he kept calling me and I waked up and then ignored it, if it wasn’t for my friend sleeping on the couch I would have missed my flight. The cab had been waiting luckily, and took me to the airport. I fell asleep in the cab, and then my bag was overweight so I had to fumble all my shit around and all I wanted to do was sleep.
He puts more money into my account because he asked if I needed more for shopping...he he he. I think you all know how I responded to that question. Then it ends up being the night before I had to leave for Fiji. My flight left at 3:30 AM, left just say my other roomie was coming home that night and we were celebrating like rock stars. I tried to make my all friends stay up and believe me NOTHING made them stay up.
So Im fucked up and packing for what see,s to be a near month or two. I have like three carry on bags because I was finding bags and random shit I had to shove in places. I am doing my make up, and not even that is making me look presentable. I call a cab and then pass out, he kept calling me and I waked up and then ignored it, if it wasn’t for my friend sleeping on the couch I would have missed my flight. The cab had been waiting luckily, and took me to the airport. I fell asleep in the cab, and then my bag was overweight so I had to fumble all my shit around and all I wanted to do was sleep.
Mother fucking affair
I needed to meet this man and make sure he was not some kind of psycho, especially in the manner I was speaking to him (just a little more flirtatious than i would have like to with a stranger). So one night before I come back from the Bahamas and before I have to leave Miami I ended up meeting him for a drink and he was great. His personality stroked me the right way for sure. He was very relaxed, sexy and smart. We did kiss, but only for a bit, nothing hardcore. After that night we got into pinning through our blackberries. We pinned almost every day, and he certainly had me on the tip of my toes. He gave me countdowns until our island getaway, and told me how he was going to spoil me. Oh goody!, I thought.
Except one day, it hit me, that son of a bitch must be married. I asked him and he confessed to having a wife for 12 fucking years. Thank god, he does not have kids...then I would be the ultimate home wrecker.
He has a beach house about two hours away from me and he wanted me to come out to meet him. I do not have a car so I tell him I have no idea how I will get there, but when there is Lexa involved, Lexa will find a way.
Please realize I arrived in town for school on a friday and still had to move in all my furniture and mattress. So I am drinking beer on a sunday trying to figure out how the fuck I am supposed to get a ride to see him because I do not know anyone who would even lend me their car ( I am a crazy, new driver). Then it dawns on me, duh..i’ll make him buy a car service to pick my drunk ass up.
Next thing I know a guy in a tuxedo comes to pick me up to go in a lincoln black on black ride. I stumble into the car trying not to seem like a lush. The plan was that the car would take me to “The Ritz,” because he was spending time with clients there. He was supposed to pick me up from there and take me to his beach house.
The car ride began a bit boring because the driver was playing music that one usually hears in elevators. Whoa, then I thought...If I am going to be a car for about an hour, two hours to meet up with a stranger who is taking to me to a foreign country...DAM I will need a drink to handle this. I reach into my overnight bag and grab a beer. The driver in the front gave me a bit of look and then I heard the best thing ever. The radio station made it’s point and started to play the best hit of all, Billie Jeane by my one and only MJ.
The ride got way better! I reached my destination to the “The Ritz Carlton,” in Orlando, and immediately I scurried to the prissy bar and ordered a kettle one and soda. I felt like a grade a hooker. He came to pick me up in his blinged out truck and I hopped in with my denim skinny anklet jeans equipped with zippers on the bottom, wearing a black patent belt with gold circles,and the perfect sized buckle topped with brown cargo”esuque” wedges, a thick, a white tank and a black blazer. I was looking pretty good.
My two little eyes spy Fiji man with one hand on the wheel looking like a stud, smiling right at me. Man am I a sucker or what? I just couldn’t help but shine my brightest smile. I was super happy to see him for some reason, probably the fact that I was intoxicated defintely helped. As soon as I got in the car, he had me reach into the glove department and he bought me a brand new hot pink 16GB ipod nano! I mentioned to him that my ipod broke and he told me I couldn’t travel without one. I automatically agreed.
We stopped off to get dinner first and get all the general questions out of the way and then start talking more about dirty details like drugs and sex. At the end dinner the waitress asked us what our deal and said she has been trying to figure us out all night. I really don’t know if she could have handled it.
He was 38 years old but acted like my age. He listened to all types of music and he was so into music which was pretty awesome. He is a pretty independent person and gets along with people very well. The man even enjoyed himself that mary jane.He all said he wanted to put money into my account every month so I would not have to work...um yes please.
His beach house so adorable and he designed it all himself-hm... probably a lie but whatever. He gave me a nice tour and then he made me a drink, and we went on his balcony over looking the beach with a full frekin moon....what do you guys think happened?
He totally charmed me in, but thats what I love. I made him have to work...a little but I needed to make sure the sex was decent if I was going to a foreign city with this man for a week. He had this bed too on his balcony so we started laying in that and then he was touching me super slow and sexy...and you could HEAR the waves. He paid so much attention to every inch of my body. It was unreal! God, It is so refreshing to not have some college dude, like have his cock jump out all over me in thirty seconds. It was like a total “Nicholas Sparks” movie scene. The light from the moon was even shining on us, god I feel corny.
He called it, making love. I do no think any man I have slept there has ever said that. I’ve heard fuck, sex, do it, bump, screw, thrust, etc...but when you think about it why haven’t more men used the term making love. I feel like way more women would respond to, “shall we make love tonight, or no?” versus “wanna go do it?” But hey maybe that is just me and we all know how fucking odd I am.
We made love in every room in that house that night. In the morning after barely sleeping he made me breakfast and he had one of those awesome coffee machines. Wealthy people have the fucking coolest kitchen appliances, you know? I mean if I was wealthy I would never be in the kitchen, or maybe I would hire a chef, either way they all have the sick nasty, speech enabler, robot coffee machines, and then they have the pepper shaker that automatically grinds it for you with the click of a button. They seriously have every stupid appliance there is out there too, like they have to have the panini maker, the not ‘“shit” american waffle maker -but the “BELGIUM” waffle maker, the premium, top of the notch smoothie maker, and if you’re lucky they have ice cream makers and espresso machines!
ANYWAYS-he pays for me to take the same car guy back to my crack ’a’ lack house. This guy definitely knows what’s going down but he was a super fly guy so it worked out well. He played Michael Jackson again too! And I read some of “Little Bee” (great book by the way). I also did pass out a good ninety percent of the time. The next day Fiji put money in my account to get first class tickets to Fiji AND to go shopping! Yay!
Except one day, it hit me, that son of a bitch must be married. I asked him and he confessed to having a wife for 12 fucking years. Thank god, he does not have kids...then I would be the ultimate home wrecker.
He has a beach house about two hours away from me and he wanted me to come out to meet him. I do not have a car so I tell him I have no idea how I will get there, but when there is Lexa involved, Lexa will find a way.
Please realize I arrived in town for school on a friday and still had to move in all my furniture and mattress. So I am drinking beer on a sunday trying to figure out how the fuck I am supposed to get a ride to see him because I do not know anyone who would even lend me their car ( I am a crazy, new driver). Then it dawns on me, duh..i’ll make him buy a car service to pick my drunk ass up.
Next thing I know a guy in a tuxedo comes to pick me up to go in a lincoln black on black ride. I stumble into the car trying not to seem like a lush. The plan was that the car would take me to “The Ritz,” because he was spending time with clients there. He was supposed to pick me up from there and take me to his beach house.
The car ride began a bit boring because the driver was playing music that one usually hears in elevators. Whoa, then I thought...If I am going to be a car for about an hour, two hours to meet up with a stranger who is taking to me to a foreign country...DAM I will need a drink to handle this. I reach into my overnight bag and grab a beer. The driver in the front gave me a bit of look and then I heard the best thing ever. The radio station made it’s point and started to play the best hit of all, Billie Jeane by my one and only MJ.
The ride got way better! I reached my destination to the “The Ritz Carlton,” in Orlando, and immediately I scurried to the prissy bar and ordered a kettle one and soda. I felt like a grade a hooker. He came to pick me up in his blinged out truck and I hopped in with my denim skinny anklet jeans equipped with zippers on the bottom, wearing a black patent belt with gold circles,and the perfect sized buckle topped with brown cargo”esuque” wedges, a thick, a white tank and a black blazer. I was looking pretty good.
My two little eyes spy Fiji man with one hand on the wheel looking like a stud, smiling right at me. Man am I a sucker or what? I just couldn’t help but shine my brightest smile. I was super happy to see him for some reason, probably the fact that I was intoxicated defintely helped. As soon as I got in the car, he had me reach into the glove department and he bought me a brand new hot pink 16GB ipod nano! I mentioned to him that my ipod broke and he told me I couldn’t travel without one. I automatically agreed.
We stopped off to get dinner first and get all the general questions out of the way and then start talking more about dirty details like drugs and sex. At the end dinner the waitress asked us what our deal and said she has been trying to figure us out all night. I really don’t know if she could have handled it.
He was 38 years old but acted like my age. He listened to all types of music and he was so into music which was pretty awesome. He is a pretty independent person and gets along with people very well. The man even enjoyed himself that mary jane.He all said he wanted to put money into my account every month so I would not have to work...um yes please.
His beach house so adorable and he designed it all himself-hm... probably a lie but whatever. He gave me a nice tour and then he made me a drink, and we went on his balcony over looking the beach with a full frekin moon....what do you guys think happened?
He totally charmed me in, but thats what I love. I made him have to work...a little but I needed to make sure the sex was decent if I was going to a foreign city with this man for a week. He had this bed too on his balcony so we started laying in that and then he was touching me super slow and sexy...and you could HEAR the waves. He paid so much attention to every inch of my body. It was unreal! God, It is so refreshing to not have some college dude, like have his cock jump out all over me in thirty seconds. It was like a total “Nicholas Sparks” movie scene. The light from the moon was even shining on us, god I feel corny.
He called it, making love. I do no think any man I have slept there has ever said that. I’ve heard fuck, sex, do it, bump, screw, thrust, etc...but when you think about it why haven’t more men used the term making love. I feel like way more women would respond to, “shall we make love tonight, or no?” versus “wanna go do it?” But hey maybe that is just me and we all know how fucking odd I am.
We made love in every room in that house that night. In the morning after barely sleeping he made me breakfast and he had one of those awesome coffee machines. Wealthy people have the fucking coolest kitchen appliances, you know? I mean if I was wealthy I would never be in the kitchen, or maybe I would hire a chef, either way they all have the sick nasty, speech enabler, robot coffee machines, and then they have the pepper shaker that automatically grinds it for you with the click of a button. They seriously have every stupid appliance there is out there too, like they have to have the panini maker, the not ‘“shit” american waffle maker -but the “BELGIUM” waffle maker, the premium, top of the notch smoothie maker, and if you’re lucky they have ice cream makers and espresso machines!
ANYWAYS-he pays for me to take the same car guy back to my crack ’a’ lack house. This guy definitely knows what’s going down but he was a super fly guy so it worked out well. He played Michael Jackson again too! And I read some of “Little Bee” (great book by the way). I also did pass out a good ninety percent of the time. The next day Fiji put money in my account to get first class tickets to Fiji AND to go shopping! Yay!
Did someone say Cabo?
I am currently on the plane back to destination “almost condemned home” and I wonder how I even got to Fiji. As I have mentioned before, my luck goes from terrible to FABULOUS. Let me tell ya how I landed up in Fiji. I am working in this office of death, and I get a call from a customer who totally wants to bitch. He is totally giving me a hard time about his account, and my manager fucked it up-not me, so then he wanted to come in my actual office. I give this guy our physical address, the next day he comes in and asks to speak with me. I am a bit shocked he actually came in. He is on his phone most of the time I had to do my job...for once and help him with his account and I did mention that it was my last day.
When I am about to leave work I get an email from him, and he thanked me for my help and was asking if I needed work Now people, I am a broke college kid in this recession, when someone says job I run. So I email him back immediately notifying him of my interest and he asks me number. We exchange numbers and next thing I know he texts me and then we start to flirt! Knowing myself, this is inevitable, but iI really did want a job, until he told me he was to Fiji,
I told him that I was leaving Miami in a couple of days to go off to a family reunion in the Bahamas and he mentioned he was going to Fiji. Next thing he invited me to go....I did NOT think he was serious-considering I just met him and did not do any google searches on his name or background checks. I thought he was totally playing when he asked me to go. I said I would love to go with him just because i thought he was bullshitting me but little did I know.
When I am about to leave work I get an email from him, and he thanked me for my help and was asking if I needed work Now people, I am a broke college kid in this recession, when someone says job I run. So I email him back immediately notifying him of my interest and he asks me number. We exchange numbers and next thing I know he texts me and then we start to flirt! Knowing myself, this is inevitable, but iI really did want a job, until he told me he was to Fiji,
I told him that I was leaving Miami in a couple of days to go off to a family reunion in the Bahamas and he mentioned he was going to Fiji. Next thing he invited me to go....I did NOT think he was serious-considering I just met him and did not do any google searches on his name or background checks. I thought he was totally playing when he asked me to go. I said I would love to go with him just because i thought he was bullshitting me but little did I know.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Cart Trouble on the Island
The next night I am out with my little brother again and he is off flirting with these english girls his age and I am off with my friends my age. My friends and I are smoking a giant b, and I was silly, stupid, drunk. My brother asks me if he can go off with his friends to the bar down the block and me like a fool agrees. After ten minutes of smoking, I go to get the car and decide to call it a night because I am about to pass out at this point.
I start the golf cart, and ride over to the bar where he said he would be at. I look in and I do not see him. Then I think, well maybe he is at the other bar on the other side of the island. I ride over to the other side and it is 1 am and I am about to fall asleep at the wheel. All of a sudden my cart stops. I am riding in a dirt road, taking the short cut in a fucking golf cart. Seriously, it wasn’t charged? How was I supposed to know the cart would run out of gas. The island is only 3 miles long!
Then these two giant black man appear, out of literally no where and I could barely see them. They actually ended up helping me and said they would hold the cart for me-which they actually ended up doing. I then walked to the bar I was at originally thinking that maybe my little brother would show up there. I get to a table with these french people and I see my little soufflé and then I do the unthinkable. I stand up, go to the balcony and puke down the stairs. Thank god, it did not hit anyone.
My little soufflé turned out to be helpful in the case that him and his friend drove me home. Then I get to the house and scream into my mother’s room, (take in account that I am drunk and tired) and yell, “MOM! I can’t find my brother, I almost got raped and I crashed the golf cart.” Only one of those things I said was true (couldn’t find my brother. It turned out that little shit was at the bar that I looked for him at the whole bloody time! I don’t think I drank until 5 the next day.
I start the golf cart, and ride over to the bar where he said he would be at. I look in and I do not see him. Then I think, well maybe he is at the other bar on the other side of the island. I ride over to the other side and it is 1 am and I am about to fall asleep at the wheel. All of a sudden my cart stops. I am riding in a dirt road, taking the short cut in a fucking golf cart. Seriously, it wasn’t charged? How was I supposed to know the cart would run out of gas. The island is only 3 miles long!
Then these two giant black man appear, out of literally no where and I could barely see them. They actually ended up helping me and said they would hold the cart for me-which they actually ended up doing. I then walked to the bar I was at originally thinking that maybe my little brother would show up there. I get to a table with these french people and I see my little soufflé and then I do the unthinkable. I stand up, go to the balcony and puke down the stairs. Thank god, it did not hit anyone.
My little soufflé turned out to be helpful in the case that him and his friend drove me home. Then I get to the house and scream into my mother’s room, (take in account that I am drunk and tired) and yell, “MOM! I can’t find my brother, I almost got raped and I crashed the golf cart.” Only one of those things I said was true (couldn’t find my brother. It turned out that little shit was at the bar that I looked for him at the whole bloody time! I don’t think I drank until 5 the next day.
Bahama Mama parte uno
Bahama Mama Parte uno
It is hysterical that every time I end up on family trips, I still manage to get myself into trouble. I went to an island in the Bahamas for one week and rented a house with my happily married aunt and uncle, their three three children (all under the age of ten), crazy Aunt Kidd (mentioned before) her daughter (ten years old), and then my mom, her boo, little sister and then last but not least my fifteen year old brother, body guard. I was drunk 90 percent of the time, It would have been 100% if my grandparents were not so damn strict.
Also, please note I peed the bed every night because of my alcoholism. I slept in a two bedroom with my little sister and we luckily had a balcony with a lounge chair. Every day at 6 am I woke up wet, took off my clothes and then passed out on the lounge chair naked until my little cousin would come outside close her eyes and tell me breakfast is ready. Poor girl is probably scared for life.
Every morning I tried to wake up really fast so I could leave before the maids came. Except, they walked in every morning while I was rushing to get dressed and I would watch them walk down the stairs in disgust,carrying my sheets. The worst part is that one morning my Aunt confronted me and told me my little sister still wet the bed. I lied and agreed. I told her that, “I had no idea my sister still wet the bed.” I blamed my little sister for peeing the bed, when it was me the whole time. One day I’ll pay her back.
As soon as well all landed, my mom, her boo and I were chugging Kalik beers like they were running out of stock. Then we all met my grandparents for dinner, that night I was a good girl and followed my drunk mum home when she got into a fight with her step mummy. Me, being the best supportive daughter that I am took my mum to the bar so we could get pissed. Then when she came home, she started to fight with her boo because that is what those two do when they are drunk. Her nickname for the rest of the trip was “Mel.”
The next night my mum, her boo and I went to a chill, laid back bar where, this time, I was the victim. I wore a shirt out that looked like something Lady Gaga would wear; it was one shoulder with a white puffy sleeve on one side. For some reason, I thought maybe this shirt would magically make me sing like her because for the rest of the night I sung Lady Gaga and I will never think of the song “Poker Face” the same. My mom and I went back to the house where all my cousins were trying to sleep and I was screaming Poker Face at the top of my lungs. The next night before I went out my uncle came into my bedroom and screamed, “NEXT TIME YOU COME HOME,YOU MIGHT WANT TO LOWER YOUR VOICE.!”
I certainly wore off my mom and her boyfriend off and I knew my little brother had been wanting to get his party on. These kids grow up fast now a days. I took my little brother out with me and in return he paid for my drinks, which was an awesome trade off! The first night I was out with my brother, I am tipsy and start flirting with this french guy. After talking and flirting I told my little brother that I had to take him home. So then I have my guy follow me and then we were going to go back to his place. My brother got so defensive it was adorable. He was like why is this guy following you!?
I dropped my little brother off and had my french one night stand, nothing out of the ordinary, except for I think I may have eaten a pot brownie at his place..I wish I could have remembered more from that night.
It is hysterical that every time I end up on family trips, I still manage to get myself into trouble. I went to an island in the Bahamas for one week and rented a house with my happily married aunt and uncle, their three three children (all under the age of ten), crazy Aunt Kidd (mentioned before) her daughter (ten years old), and then my mom, her boo, little sister and then last but not least my fifteen year old brother, body guard. I was drunk 90 percent of the time, It would have been 100% if my grandparents were not so damn strict.
Also, please note I peed the bed every night because of my alcoholism. I slept in a two bedroom with my little sister and we luckily had a balcony with a lounge chair. Every day at 6 am I woke up wet, took off my clothes and then passed out on the lounge chair naked until my little cousin would come outside close her eyes and tell me breakfast is ready. Poor girl is probably scared for life.
Every morning I tried to wake up really fast so I could leave before the maids came. Except, they walked in every morning while I was rushing to get dressed and I would watch them walk down the stairs in disgust,carrying my sheets. The worst part is that one morning my Aunt confronted me and told me my little sister still wet the bed. I lied and agreed. I told her that, “I had no idea my sister still wet the bed.” I blamed my little sister for peeing the bed, when it was me the whole time. One day I’ll pay her back.
As soon as well all landed, my mom, her boo and I were chugging Kalik beers like they were running out of stock. Then we all met my grandparents for dinner, that night I was a good girl and followed my drunk mum home when she got into a fight with her step mummy. Me, being the best supportive daughter that I am took my mum to the bar so we could get pissed. Then when she came home, she started to fight with her boo because that is what those two do when they are drunk. Her nickname for the rest of the trip was “Mel.”
The next night my mum, her boo and I went to a chill, laid back bar where, this time, I was the victim. I wore a shirt out that looked like something Lady Gaga would wear; it was one shoulder with a white puffy sleeve on one side. For some reason, I thought maybe this shirt would magically make me sing like her because for the rest of the night I sung Lady Gaga and I will never think of the song “Poker Face” the same. My mom and I went back to the house where all my cousins were trying to sleep and I was screaming Poker Face at the top of my lungs. The next night before I went out my uncle came into my bedroom and screamed, “NEXT TIME YOU COME HOME,YOU MIGHT WANT TO LOWER YOUR VOICE.!”
I certainly wore off my mom and her boyfriend off and I knew my little brother had been wanting to get his party on. These kids grow up fast now a days. I took my little brother out with me and in return he paid for my drinks, which was an awesome trade off! The first night I was out with my brother, I am tipsy and start flirting with this french guy. After talking and flirting I told my little brother that I had to take him home. So then I have my guy follow me and then we were going to go back to his place. My brother got so defensive it was adorable. He was like why is this guy following you!?
I dropped my little brother off and had my french one night stand, nothing out of the ordinary, except for I think I may have eaten a pot brownie at his place..I wish I could have remembered more from that night.
Bad Aiming
One night at the end of my summer in Miami I went to meet up with a friend. We shall call him Anus because that is what he loves. I had my grandma’s Audi, TT and of course I have had a couple beers but I was not shit faced so I was cool driving. I pick up Anus from this bar and we were going to head over to a new one, so all of a sudden I am driving in the middle of Miami on South Dixie Highway (major road), I am at a stop light and as soon as the light turned green, I went to step on the gas and nothing happened. Immediately I thought, wow, “this would happen to me.”
Luckily, a nice homeless man came riding by in his bike and offered to help. Anus and his friends also turned out to be pretty handy. The guys pushed that little silver baby on over to the Shell gas station right off the road and worked on that car. Naturally, I had no idea what the hell exactly was wrong with the car but I figured that they would be smart enough to figure it out, because then I would be royally fucked in my anus. My grandma also just got her car completely checked. Audi people...figures.
After about an hour of scraping off this random green shit on my grandma’s engine, we all leave to go to Anus’ friend’s place. We start playing some drinking games and next thing we know it is 4 am and all his friends are sleeping. So, we decided to go have our own little fun in Anus’s car.
I forgot what we were doing exactly but next thing I know he somehow managed to squirt out a fucking wad of cum into my eye. Yes, it’s true. The man got his fucking cum into my eye and frekin almost blinded me. I did not know it was possible for a man to be so off target but he was. I have never heard of a girl getting a load shot in her eye besides me of course. Maybe next time I have sex I should wear sunglasses. Females-BEWARE the next time you are pleasing a man, make sure he does not make you go get an eye patch because he can’t control his penis.
Luckily, a nice homeless man came riding by in his bike and offered to help. Anus and his friends also turned out to be pretty handy. The guys pushed that little silver baby on over to the Shell gas station right off the road and worked on that car. Naturally, I had no idea what the hell exactly was wrong with the car but I figured that they would be smart enough to figure it out, because then I would be royally fucked in my anus. My grandma also just got her car completely checked. Audi people...figures.
After about an hour of scraping off this random green shit on my grandma’s engine, we all leave to go to Anus’ friend’s place. We start playing some drinking games and next thing we know it is 4 am and all his friends are sleeping. So, we decided to go have our own little fun in Anus’s car.
I forgot what we were doing exactly but next thing I know he somehow managed to squirt out a fucking wad of cum into my eye. Yes, it’s true. The man got his fucking cum into my eye and frekin almost blinded me. I did not know it was possible for a man to be so off target but he was. I have never heard of a girl getting a load shot in her eye besides me of course. Maybe next time I have sex I should wear sunglasses. Females-BEWARE the next time you are pleasing a man, make sure he does not make you go get an eye patch because he can’t control his penis.
Going out with a bang
When my grandrent’s came back into town, my schedule began to change and in instead of getting hammered and having wild sex with an older man, I went into pothead mode. I began coming home and smoking my life away in my grandparent’s bathroom. That poor bathroom, I wonder if they will ever realize I smoked in there almost every day.
I also stole my grandma’s ipod and then she asked if I had it and I still lied to her! I am awful...but I did really need an ipod for strict working out purposes. I couldn’t be in Miami and be fat...even though I did have the munchies a little too much. One night my friend was in town and I still had clothes that I left at Loverboy’s and I needed to pick up my heels. I purposely left some things over there, just in case I needed an excuse to come over ;)
Kidd was indeed out of town and I did need my heels. I winded up going over there and getting a little more than my sexy black cut out, stilettos. He was a good kisser and he liked kissing me a lot. It started to rain, he had a pool and a hot tub, we were both naked in his house and it got a bit steamy...I am sure you could imagine what happened next.
The next morning I had to wake up at 7 am so I could be at my grandparent’s before they woke up! Naturally I drive up to the driveway and my grandfather is taking the dogs out. Sleepily, I open the gate and then of course the dogs start to run out in the street...I think I screamed, “FUCK!”over and over again for a solid two minutes.
Luckily the dogs got let in and he did not say a word. That old man was definitely quite at right times. That was my last sexual encountering with Loverboy, and it was quite a great ending, if I do say so myself.
I also stole my grandma’s ipod and then she asked if I had it and I still lied to her! I am awful...but I did really need an ipod for strict working out purposes. I couldn’t be in Miami and be fat...even though I did have the munchies a little too much. One night my friend was in town and I still had clothes that I left at Loverboy’s and I needed to pick up my heels. I purposely left some things over there, just in case I needed an excuse to come over ;)
Kidd was indeed out of town and I did need my heels. I winded up going over there and getting a little more than my sexy black cut out, stilettos. He was a good kisser and he liked kissing me a lot. It started to rain, he had a pool and a hot tub, we were both naked in his house and it got a bit steamy...I am sure you could imagine what happened next.
The next morning I had to wake up at 7 am so I could be at my grandparent’s before they woke up! Naturally I drive up to the driveway and my grandfather is taking the dogs out. Sleepily, I open the gate and then of course the dogs start to run out in the street...I think I screamed, “FUCK!”over and over again for a solid two minutes.
Luckily the dogs got let in and he did not say a word. That old man was definitely quite at right times. That was my last sexual encountering with Loverboy, and it was quite a great ending, if I do say so myself.
Future Anna Nicole Smith...great
I really hope I do not end up marrying someone double my age when I am still forty and single.
The next day I decided to lay out with Kidd. Kidd and I lay out topless at Loverboy’s because there was no one there. Clearly, a near ten minutes later Loverboy shows up and I feel awkward as fuck. Loverboy jumps in his pool and then Kidd leaves. Fucking great people. Loverboy is in his pool and I am laying out and he wants to make out with me!!!! I asked him again about him and Kidd, he then assured me all was fine so I give up my lips for a hot minute. Then that is when I found out that a lesbian ate me out, he was making out with me helping her. I sighed for a bit and though oh..well shit, why not. I ended up living with Loverboy because Kidd moved in with him and I needed a place to stay when my grandrentals were away. Lord knows why they did not trust me with their house. I mean it is not like I had a party at my house when my parents were away my sophomore year of high school...there was only one hole that was punched into my basement wall. It could have been way worse, and only one camera got stolen.
The next night we went out for some sushi and sake, nothing crazy...or so I thought. Loverboy came into the guest room I was staying in and we had sex. Yup, he’s like double my age but SUPER SEXY and I mean he is my type. He is Italian, black hair, dark eyes, bulky build, 6”3 and super, successful lawyer. He told me that when he met me a year previous that he was interested and then my aunt gave him the approval to go for me. He did and then I certainly did. What the fuck Is wrong with me?
I stayed with him at his place for 3 weeks and we had sex about twice a week, except it was hot because I would tell him to come home from work and we would have hot sex in his kitchen and dining room. Sometimes he texted me during work, and would say that he missed my sexy lips (which I do not have) and I would make some sexual comeback because I am an instigator. My instigation definitely created more fun in my life! I always wanted to get him in trouble.
We would be the only ones in his house and he fucking gave it to me. He would go about 20 minutes and then as they say in the World Cup....GOAL. My aunt knew about it and was super cool, she really does have no feelings after about 3 divorces. It freaked me out but I tried not to think too hard about it.
It was an interesting summer, I would wake up at about 7 am, scramble into the kitchen, grab a mug and put it under some coffee machine going off, and in the middle of this I would hear Kidd scream and moan as if she was about to climax. I feel like many would think this is disturbing, but I thought it was so exciting.
The next day I decided to lay out with Kidd. Kidd and I lay out topless at Loverboy’s because there was no one there. Clearly, a near ten minutes later Loverboy shows up and I feel awkward as fuck. Loverboy jumps in his pool and then Kidd leaves. Fucking great people. Loverboy is in his pool and I am laying out and he wants to make out with me!!!! I asked him again about him and Kidd, he then assured me all was fine so I give up my lips for a hot minute. Then that is when I found out that a lesbian ate me out, he was making out with me helping her. I sighed for a bit and though oh..well shit, why not. I ended up living with Loverboy because Kidd moved in with him and I needed a place to stay when my grandrentals were away. Lord knows why they did not trust me with their house. I mean it is not like I had a party at my house when my parents were away my sophomore year of high school...there was only one hole that was punched into my basement wall. It could have been way worse, and only one camera got stolen.
The next night we went out for some sushi and sake, nothing crazy...or so I thought. Loverboy came into the guest room I was staying in and we had sex. Yup, he’s like double my age but SUPER SEXY and I mean he is my type. He is Italian, black hair, dark eyes, bulky build, 6”3 and super, successful lawyer. He told me that when he met me a year previous that he was interested and then my aunt gave him the approval to go for me. He did and then I certainly did. What the fuck Is wrong with me?
I stayed with him at his place for 3 weeks and we had sex about twice a week, except it was hot because I would tell him to come home from work and we would have hot sex in his kitchen and dining room. Sometimes he texted me during work, and would say that he missed my sexy lips (which I do not have) and I would make some sexual comeback because I am an instigator. My instigation definitely created more fun in my life! I always wanted to get him in trouble.
We would be the only ones in his house and he fucking gave it to me. He would go about 20 minutes and then as they say in the World Cup....GOAL. My aunt knew about it and was super cool, she really does have no feelings after about 3 divorces. It freaked me out but I tried not to think too hard about it.
It was an interesting summer, I would wake up at about 7 am, scramble into the kitchen, grab a mug and put it under some coffee machine going off, and in the middle of this I would hear Kidd scream and moan as if she was about to climax. I feel like many would think this is disturbing, but I thought it was so exciting.
Lexa's first strip club
Please do not judge me, after you read this ... or well at least not too harshly
My grandparents luckily were leaving the country for about 3 weeks so I had to stay with my nutty, AWESOME aunt. I’ll call her Kidd. I was so fucking happy to get out of my grandparents place. Dude, whenever I made breakfast before work my grandfather hovered over me and had to inquire about important crap all the time. Old man, I just woke up and smoked a bowl and all I want to do is eat some eggs and be on my way to Cuba so I can listen to people bitch. There is nothing worse than a damn hoverer. I am all about my personal space, unless however you look like George Clooney, than you can get as close as you want.
Back to Kidd-so life with Kidd was crazed. I drank every night with her and her friend Cy. Cy lives in a Barbie Dream Mansion and owns a real pink hair salon that reminds me of the game Candy Land. At the Barbie Mansion it was all harmless fun. One night when I stayed with Kidd, I went to a strip club.
This was my first strip club experience. Let me tell you this was probably a most first intense experience. Kidd is with her “lover” and his friend, and they pick me up in lover boy’s old car and we head over to a strip club they want to hit up. We get there and I show them my fake id naturally, and of course I got denied. Then we move to a different club that is GHETTO but fabulous. We get to the strip club and I am pretty sure Kidd slipped the bouncer money to get in. Kidd, lover and friend automatically get a bottle.....big NO NO for Lexa.
I am in a strip club sober watching some girl who resembles Rhianna get on a pole and strip. Shit people of course I was hitting that bottle. I am on my first cocktail and the lover boy wants me to slip a couple dollars in her bra. Next thing I know I end up in a room with Rhianna’s twin and she is on top of me fingering me. Yup I turned into a lesbian that night.
Shit starts to get crazy when the next stripper goes on the pole, This girl is brunette and is covered in tats so we called her Amy Wineouse. Lover boy and his friend want to get a room for all of us. We enter a room where I guessed strippers would dance and fancy us all. Except, it did not exactly end up like that. My aunt walks in the room first and takes her top off, so only her double d fake’s are hanging out, lover boy’s friend is freaking out saying, “Whoa! I would have never guessed she had boobs!”-considering Kidd is pretty ultra conservative. I enter the room and the first thing I asked is, “where did the bottle go?” I am trying to get drunk as possible so I can actually feel comfortable with the fact that girls are going to rub up against me. After a couple of glasses of Chandon I feel better and my top is off. Whoops. Kidd’s lover is fingering me hardcore and Rhianna and I are making out. Rhianna starts to finger me as well. Amy starts to have fun with me too and begins to get on me. --The rest I do not remember, I only remember passing out and I peed the bed in Loverboy’s guest room. I was told the next morning that I was eaten out by Amy Winehouse. Yup. It’s official I am a lesbian,
My grandparents luckily were leaving the country for about 3 weeks so I had to stay with my nutty, AWESOME aunt. I’ll call her Kidd. I was so fucking happy to get out of my grandparents place. Dude, whenever I made breakfast before work my grandfather hovered over me and had to inquire about important crap all the time. Old man, I just woke up and smoked a bowl and all I want to do is eat some eggs and be on my way to Cuba so I can listen to people bitch. There is nothing worse than a damn hoverer. I am all about my personal space, unless however you look like George Clooney, than you can get as close as you want.
Back to Kidd-so life with Kidd was crazed. I drank every night with her and her friend Cy. Cy lives in a Barbie Dream Mansion and owns a real pink hair salon that reminds me of the game Candy Land. At the Barbie Mansion it was all harmless fun. One night when I stayed with Kidd, I went to a strip club.
This was my first strip club experience. Let me tell you this was probably a most first intense experience. Kidd is with her “lover” and his friend, and they pick me up in lover boy’s old car and we head over to a strip club they want to hit up. We get there and I show them my fake id naturally, and of course I got denied. Then we move to a different club that is GHETTO but fabulous. We get to the strip club and I am pretty sure Kidd slipped the bouncer money to get in. Kidd, lover and friend automatically get a bottle.....big NO NO for Lexa.
I am in a strip club sober watching some girl who resembles Rhianna get on a pole and strip. Shit people of course I was hitting that bottle. I am on my first cocktail and the lover boy wants me to slip a couple dollars in her bra. Next thing I know I end up in a room with Rhianna’s twin and she is on top of me fingering me. Yup I turned into a lesbian that night.
Shit starts to get crazy when the next stripper goes on the pole, This girl is brunette and is covered in tats so we called her Amy Wineouse. Lover boy and his friend want to get a room for all of us. We enter a room where I guessed strippers would dance and fancy us all. Except, it did not exactly end up like that. My aunt walks in the room first and takes her top off, so only her double d fake’s are hanging out, lover boy’s friend is freaking out saying, “Whoa! I would have never guessed she had boobs!”-considering Kidd is pretty ultra conservative. I enter the room and the first thing I asked is, “where did the bottle go?” I am trying to get drunk as possible so I can actually feel comfortable with the fact that girls are going to rub up against me. After a couple of glasses of Chandon I feel better and my top is off. Whoops. Kidd’s lover is fingering me hardcore and Rhianna and I are making out. Rhianna starts to finger me as well. Amy starts to have fun with me too and begins to get on me. --The rest I do not remember, I only remember passing out and I peed the bed in Loverboy’s guest room. I was told the next morning that I was eaten out by Amy Winehouse. Yup. It’s official I am a lesbian,
At least there were blunts
Life at the office was boring and dull as fuck. Everyday I basically got shat on for no reason because people do not realize I am only the fucking receptionist. I will tell you I have the worst and best luck. Two things that came out of my summer job were blunts and Cabo. The only two people in the office were these two guys.
One of them I just want to nickname Burger King because he always had a BK cup in his hand, I would say he is your typical BK lover, about 5’5 chubby, red brownish beard and he absolutely HATED his job. I think I should have gotten paid for being a therapist as well as the helpful receptionist that I was (and yes I was blazed 90 percent of them). I honestly do not really know what I would do without BK man, every time someone called I had no idea what this loan servicing terminology was all about, nor did I give a flying fuck so he was wise and provided me with the help I needed to stay in the cuban madhouse. You know what BK man should win an sward, that crazed mother fucker rolled a blunt in his like cubicle on his keyboard, not many people have the balls to pull that stunt.
I’ll call his friend Jesus because he was pretty religious. And I guess you could say I was his Mary Magdalen, because he totally wanted to do me. I used to think Jesus was pretty cute,but then he told me he lived with his parents. We also went out for cocktails one night and he did not pay. The only bonus was the blunt he brought. Great times. I must say I walked around the streets of Miami with a blunt or bowl in my hand many times and no one gave two shits. One time I gave the rest of my blunt to a homeless man and he almost cried he was so happy. Well, actually I did not but I always thought about it.
Jesus definitely was a super guy, I think other girls would be all over him considering he was a cute, family guy, good values, not a convict or illegal immigrant (which is definitely hard to find in Miami) but I have more important things I need. I need a man who is older, with money and wants to treat me like a sex slave because I dig that for some really sick reason but hey we all have our guilty pleasure in life. Right?
Jesus ended up being such a good friend, he met up with me and gave me FIRE (only the best bud I had in Miami). When you live with your grandparents, you have to be on something to make shit interesting. I totally took advantage of that Blue Ray player, and fridge. Jesus is cool and is down to rage and do drugs, so who knows maybe we will be best friends for ever.
I was high as a kite and lazy most of the my summer and barely partied but when I did I went hard. My best friend In tampa told me that her friend Shag was coming into Miami and apparently he was cool so I figured why not, I met up with him at his brother place on the beach, we drank some beers and chilled which was great fun and smoked! Bonus! And his brother made cinnamon buns-Double Bonus!
Well we all know how Lexa gets when he drinks, so after about like 10 beers he was touching me and next thing I know I am in his brother’s roommate's bed naked...opps. Naturally my grandparents are like freaks and wake up at 7 am on saturdays so I figured it would be O.K. to nap and then go home. I got to their place at 8 am and my grandfather of course was reading the newspaper in their living room and I am still drunk in my outfit from last night and just run up to bed. My grandmother exclaimed she could not believe that I got home so late! Sorry, this aint the 1950’s.
One of them I just want to nickname Burger King because he always had a BK cup in his hand, I would say he is your typical BK lover, about 5’5 chubby, red brownish beard and he absolutely HATED his job. I think I should have gotten paid for being a therapist as well as the helpful receptionist that I was (and yes I was blazed 90 percent of them). I honestly do not really know what I would do without BK man, every time someone called I had no idea what this loan servicing terminology was all about, nor did I give a flying fuck so he was wise and provided me with the help I needed to stay in the cuban madhouse. You know what BK man should win an sward, that crazed mother fucker rolled a blunt in his like cubicle on his keyboard, not many people have the balls to pull that stunt.
I’ll call his friend Jesus because he was pretty religious. And I guess you could say I was his Mary Magdalen, because he totally wanted to do me. I used to think Jesus was pretty cute,but then he told me he lived with his parents. We also went out for cocktails one night and he did not pay. The only bonus was the blunt he brought. Great times. I must say I walked around the streets of Miami with a blunt or bowl in my hand many times and no one gave two shits. One time I gave the rest of my blunt to a homeless man and he almost cried he was so happy. Well, actually I did not but I always thought about it.
Jesus definitely was a super guy, I think other girls would be all over him considering he was a cute, family guy, good values, not a convict or illegal immigrant (which is definitely hard to find in Miami) but I have more important things I need. I need a man who is older, with money and wants to treat me like a sex slave because I dig that for some really sick reason but hey we all have our guilty pleasure in life. Right?
Jesus ended up being such a good friend, he met up with me and gave me FIRE (only the best bud I had in Miami). When you live with your grandparents, you have to be on something to make shit interesting. I totally took advantage of that Blue Ray player, and fridge. Jesus is cool and is down to rage and do drugs, so who knows maybe we will be best friends for ever.
I was high as a kite and lazy most of the my summer and barely partied but when I did I went hard. My best friend In tampa told me that her friend Shag was coming into Miami and apparently he was cool so I figured why not, I met up with him at his brother place on the beach, we drank some beers and chilled which was great fun and smoked! Bonus! And his brother made cinnamon buns-Double Bonus!
Well we all know how Lexa gets when he drinks, so after about like 10 beers he was touching me and next thing I know I am in his brother’s roommate's bed naked...opps. Naturally my grandparents are like freaks and wake up at 7 am on saturdays so I figured it would be O.K. to nap and then go home. I got to their place at 8 am and my grandfather of course was reading the newspaper in their living room and I am still drunk in my outfit from last night and just run up to bed. My grandmother exclaimed she could not believe that I got home so late! Sorry, this aint the 1950’s.
Working in Cuba
SO sorry I have not updated this lately!!! Things are about to change. I will fill in the gap between my last post and June. I am just going to get you fired up with my summer stories, and then I will let you know what shit you missed second half of second semester this past spring.
It is June people, school has been out for a while and I have replaced sex and booze with weed and food-don’t get me wrong that is not a bad combination. I agreed to my grandmother that I would work for her good friend who is the chairman of a mortgage and loan servicing company. What the hell was I thinking? When I was offered a job in Miami for the summer, that would include money (which I desperately needed because I spend way too many on drugs and false eyelashes) and MIAMI for the summer!!!- Double yes!! I was always bored in Long Island, and ate way too much pizza.
When I first arrived in Miami, I obviously was phoneless, and basically friendless. Friendless did not mind me too much because I really do not mind sitting a bar alone, just as long as I have drink in my hand (whoa, I sound like an alcoholic-wait a second...) My first major problems I enocuntered was one, I was out of weed, and two I did not have a phone to contact a drug dealer. Did I mention MAJOR problem? My grandparents loved the fact they had me sober, working from 8:30-5pm all to their self...I however was not adjusting well to this quaint, boring lifestyle.
I work in an office with about 10 people in a pretty happening town and this was during the World Cup in the frekin port of the United States. Happy Hour by the office began at (9:30AM when the games started and people were adamant about supporting their country. Godbless them.
My coworkers are mostly married and if not for a good reason. For example the youngest man I work with is 26, muy religioso and lives with his parents and he thinks he is the shit, and believe me if he was I would have probably had sex with him. Then there is Cristobal he barely speaks english but he is a cool motherfucker just for that reason and he works his ass off (I don’t think he is a legal immigrant, so if he got fired he would be fucked). Jane is the chairman’s assistant, Jane definitely did some major drugs when she was my age, she always tells me not to party too hard because she knows us partiers can get in some serious ass trouble, cough”arrested”cough. Renan is a chill ass dude. We basically bitch together and say how much we hate working. We will for sure smoke a blunt soon together. Marcia is cuban...if that does not tell you enough information let me just tell you I am really surprised I have not gone deaf from hearing her yelling at customers. There is a couple more, but they are not too exciting to mention.
As for my job, I sit behind a desk where I play the role of receptionisit and deal with customers on the phone. My tasks include, assigning workflows to everyone in the office, opening mail, scanning, looking up customers loans information and answering questions.
FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In reality I get to work LATE because I need to make that stop out of the way to get my obnoxious venti sized coffee from Starbucks, then I try to scan insurance documents but the scanner is a piece of shit so noting scans right so I stand by the scanner and curse at and bang at it until it makes me feel better. After I scan I wait for a huge load of envelopes to come on to my desk, they all have insurance documents in them and I have to look up their loan number. After my fingers spend hours dancing on keyboards my neck is cramped and all I want is an asian to magically appear behind my desk and give me a massage. Throughout the day people ask me all about their account while using baking terminology I have never heard of in my life, I pretend like I know exactly what they are talking about and usually tell them false information, whatever makes them shut up and not ask too many questions. THE BEST is when someone calls and they go on give minutes rampage and waste my precious facebook stalking time, in spanish (heads up, the person who hired me thinks I speak full spanish), after their LOUD rambling nonsense of how they cannot pay their mortgage, I say ohhhhhhhhh Voy a transferar al diferent representativo, they laugh at my valley girl spanish accent and I click my favorite button and only button I only use on the phone. I would like you to meet my friend named transfer.
It is June people, school has been out for a while and I have replaced sex and booze with weed and food-don’t get me wrong that is not a bad combination. I agreed to my grandmother that I would work for her good friend who is the chairman of a mortgage and loan servicing company. What the hell was I thinking? When I was offered a job in Miami for the summer, that would include money (which I desperately needed because I spend way too many on drugs and false eyelashes) and MIAMI for the summer!!!- Double yes!! I was always bored in Long Island, and ate way too much pizza.
When I first arrived in Miami, I obviously was phoneless, and basically friendless. Friendless did not mind me too much because I really do not mind sitting a bar alone, just as long as I have drink in my hand (whoa, I sound like an alcoholic-wait a second...) My first major problems I enocuntered was one, I was out of weed, and two I did not have a phone to contact a drug dealer. Did I mention MAJOR problem? My grandparents loved the fact they had me sober, working from 8:30-5pm all to their self...I however was not adjusting well to this quaint, boring lifestyle.
I work in an office with about 10 people in a pretty happening town and this was during the World Cup in the frekin port of the United States. Happy Hour by the office began at (9:30AM when the games started and people were adamant about supporting their country. Godbless them.
My coworkers are mostly married and if not for a good reason. For example the youngest man I work with is 26, muy religioso and lives with his parents and he thinks he is the shit, and believe me if he was I would have probably had sex with him. Then there is Cristobal he barely speaks english but he is a cool motherfucker just for that reason and he works his ass off (I don’t think he is a legal immigrant, so if he got fired he would be fucked). Jane is the chairman’s assistant, Jane definitely did some major drugs when she was my age, she always tells me not to party too hard because she knows us partiers can get in some serious ass trouble, cough”arrested”cough. Renan is a chill ass dude. We basically bitch together and say how much we hate working. We will for sure smoke a blunt soon together. Marcia is cuban...if that does not tell you enough information let me just tell you I am really surprised I have not gone deaf from hearing her yelling at customers. There is a couple more, but they are not too exciting to mention.
As for my job, I sit behind a desk where I play the role of receptionisit and deal with customers on the phone. My tasks include, assigning workflows to everyone in the office, opening mail, scanning, looking up customers loans information and answering questions.
FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In reality I get to work LATE because I need to make that stop out of the way to get my obnoxious venti sized coffee from Starbucks, then I try to scan insurance documents but the scanner is a piece of shit so noting scans right so I stand by the scanner and curse at and bang at it until it makes me feel better. After I scan I wait for a huge load of envelopes to come on to my desk, they all have insurance documents in them and I have to look up their loan number. After my fingers spend hours dancing on keyboards my neck is cramped and all I want is an asian to magically appear behind my desk and give me a massage. Throughout the day people ask me all about their account while using baking terminology I have never heard of in my life, I pretend like I know exactly what they are talking about and usually tell them false information, whatever makes them shut up and not ask too many questions. THE BEST is when someone calls and they go on give minutes rampage and waste my precious facebook stalking time, in spanish (heads up, the person who hired me thinks I speak full spanish), after their LOUD rambling nonsense of how they cannot pay their mortgage, I say ohhhhhhhhh Voy a transferar al diferent representativo, they laugh at my valley girl spanish accent and I click my favorite button and only button I only use on the phone. I would like you to meet my friend named transfer.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Mystery Midnight Man
If you think I am crazy wait till you meet my roommate Eleanor. Eleanot has her little brother, my age (19) coming from the midwest to go visit her sister and experience a crazy party school. My friend is visiting from home to indulge in my crazy life and get some sun. Eleanor and I had a duty. Our duty on Thursday night was to assure they partied their asses hard. It is thursday at about nine thirty and we start getting our drink on. We are drinking a shit ton and please keep in mind we are heading to a club where they have open bar from 10-12.
We all get to this club and Eleanor's brother is not allowed inside because he is wearing cargo shorts. Needless to say he is still wearing a nice long sleeve shirt and shoes, but according to these toolbags a Christian Audigier shirt bedazzled with rinestones and gym shorts would be more acceptable. They leave so her brother can get changed and my friend and I enter in open bar and there is only one hour left. I handed my free cup to the bar trying to get more Absolut Mandarin as if I was dying of thirst. I did not even like Absolut Mandarin.
Finally Eleanor and her brother and friends come in the door and they part take in the end of open bar. The rest of the night for myself was a blur. i was told that Arab men kept staring at me so I guess I look Arab now? I can tell you my roommate had a more fun time than I. Eleanor was getting it with all these black men. She was raging and making out with all of them. Except, she could not tell which one was which because it was too dark inside the club to tell. They should have smiled more. (Excuse my racist comments, i swear I am not racist)
Apparently Eleanor left the club for a good while. The last time anyone saw her, she was walking with this HUGE, built, black man. She looked at her friend, nodded yup and then pointed to the black man. I think we all knew, that men was going to get lucky. Then after about an hour or so of her disappearance, Eleanor struts inside of the club with the shirt she went out in, but not the skirt. Instead, the bouncers let her in wearing these giant, grey, football practice warm up sweatpants. They did not let her brother in with his cargo shorts but let this girl in with black man pants....interesting.
One of our friends asks her, Where did you get those sweatpants? She looks down and her response is, "Dude I have no idea where these came from." The rest of the night is a blue to everyone. Eleanor walked to her friends from the club and then went home while my friend and I will never know how we made our way home. The next morning my roommate found her skirt. It was in between her shirt and ghetto sweatpants. She then told us where she had went that night. Her and black magic went to his car to have sex, and since she could not find her skirt he gave her his roommate's sweatpants he practices football in. This fellow was also very adamant about getting his sweatpants back too. They exchanged numbers as well so he could get these sweatpants back.
Now he texts her all the time but Eleanor forgot what he looks like. He is now saved under the contact, "Mystery Midnight Man." and she still has his sweatpants.
We all get to this club and Eleanor's brother is not allowed inside because he is wearing cargo shorts. Needless to say he is still wearing a nice long sleeve shirt and shoes, but according to these toolbags a Christian Audigier shirt bedazzled with rinestones and gym shorts would be more acceptable. They leave so her brother can get changed and my friend and I enter in open bar and there is only one hour left. I handed my free cup to the bar trying to get more Absolut Mandarin as if I was dying of thirst. I did not even like Absolut Mandarin.
Finally Eleanor and her brother and friends come in the door and they part take in the end of open bar. The rest of the night for myself was a blur. i was told that Arab men kept staring at me so I guess I look Arab now? I can tell you my roommate had a more fun time than I. Eleanor was getting it with all these black men. She was raging and making out with all of them. Except, she could not tell which one was which because it was too dark inside the club to tell. They should have smiled more. (Excuse my racist comments, i swear I am not racist)
Apparently Eleanor left the club for a good while. The last time anyone saw her, she was walking with this HUGE, built, black man. She looked at her friend, nodded yup and then pointed to the black man. I think we all knew, that men was going to get lucky. Then after about an hour or so of her disappearance, Eleanor struts inside of the club with the shirt she went out in, but not the skirt. Instead, the bouncers let her in wearing these giant, grey, football practice warm up sweatpants. They did not let her brother in with his cargo shorts but let this girl in with black man pants....interesting.
One of our friends asks her, Where did you get those sweatpants? She looks down and her response is, "Dude I have no idea where these came from." The rest of the night is a blue to everyone. Eleanor walked to her friends from the club and then went home while my friend and I will never know how we made our way home. The next morning my roommate found her skirt. It was in between her shirt and ghetto sweatpants. She then told us where she had went that night. Her and black magic went to his car to have sex, and since she could not find her skirt he gave her his roommate's sweatpants he practices football in. This fellow was also very adamant about getting his sweatpants back too. They exchanged numbers as well so he could get these sweatpants back.
Now he texts her all the time but Eleanor forgot what he looks like. He is now saved under the contact, "Mystery Midnight Man." and she still has his sweatpants.
The next Real World Star
I am out of work it is eleven o'clock, This means I only have one meezly hour to complete indulging myself in Happy Hour-weak. Obviously I am not leaving the bar, I need to get my drank on. While I am trying to kill every last bit of liquid as if they were running out of liquor, I see this cute guy across the bar and I recognize him. He always runs next to me on the treadmill AND he noticed me! He was pointing at me and then was making running motions. I had no idea he thought I existed. He is super cute and then he pointed at the flower in my hair and he liked it and he had a flower in his hair.
My treadmill buddy and I start talking and he tells me he has to give out this rose in his hair at midnight for a kiss. Then he tells me someone is going to start filming. THEN I realize this guy is from Smithtown. Smithtown guys are usually assholes. Smithtown is only a half hour away from where I am from. I can easily tell there Is more to this taping at midnight scene. I get it out of him and he admits he wants to be the next REAL WORLD STAR. PLEASE do not tell me people think Mike, "The Situation" and these crazed real world stars are actually Idols. Why do they even call it Real World. I feel like these people get on these shows "Real World" and "Jersey Shore," and that is their world and after when they do try to get jobs and have a real life they can't because people have watched them on TV. Every single person on those shows has some sort of ridiculous drunkun breakdown and I don't think hiring agents find that appealing.
I don't understand why this kid wants to be on Real World but i go with it because he is so cute and tall AND NOT GUIDO!!!-so hard to find in Tampa. The clock strikes midnight and I am the lucky flower winner! Yay, so he gives me a short kiss on the lips and then I look over to my right and there is a guy standing over me with a camera. Really? This little "romantic" stunt is supposed to get this guy on Real World. This is the best he can come up with. He is just thirsty to be a reality tv star. That is kind of sad.
This guy keeps filming me and mtv wanna be, and I am not really feeling comfortable since if I flirt with this guy and dance with him it will help his so wanted portrayal as a flirt on the Real World. I take a break from the video shoot. My friends brother comes over to me and he cannot even speak. He is speaking but a. he is speaking another language and b. he cannot stand c. HE IS TRYING TO KISS ME. Ew-he was so drunk and telling me he likes me. I have met this guy three times (I have been so fucked him every time) and one of the times I peed his brother's couch- which he will never fucking let me forget.
I successfully run away from brother and everyone is wayyyy drunker than me, which is always an upset in my book. My friend and I go to this other bar and get a free pizza pire!!! SCORE. I ate pizza,went home and cute real world guy texts me and wanted me to come over. I was finally feeling my drunk and I said to myself why not. So I go outside but it was WAY too cold to leave so I told him I had a problem and could not move due to the weather He did not really understand my text and got mad I did not come over. It was probably better I did not, I could have had a sex tape leaked out the next morning.
My treadmill buddy and I start talking and he tells me he has to give out this rose in his hair at midnight for a kiss. Then he tells me someone is going to start filming. THEN I realize this guy is from Smithtown. Smithtown guys are usually assholes. Smithtown is only a half hour away from where I am from. I can easily tell there Is more to this taping at midnight scene. I get it out of him and he admits he wants to be the next REAL WORLD STAR. PLEASE do not tell me people think Mike, "The Situation" and these crazed real world stars are actually Idols. Why do they even call it Real World. I feel like these people get on these shows "Real World" and "Jersey Shore," and that is their world and after when they do try to get jobs and have a real life they can't because people have watched them on TV. Every single person on those shows has some sort of ridiculous drunkun breakdown and I don't think hiring agents find that appealing.
I don't understand why this kid wants to be on Real World but i go with it because he is so cute and tall AND NOT GUIDO!!!-so hard to find in Tampa. The clock strikes midnight and I am the lucky flower winner! Yay, so he gives me a short kiss on the lips and then I look over to my right and there is a guy standing over me with a camera. Really? This little "romantic" stunt is supposed to get this guy on Real World. This is the best he can come up with. He is just thirsty to be a reality tv star. That is kind of sad.
This guy keeps filming me and mtv wanna be, and I am not really feeling comfortable since if I flirt with this guy and dance with him it will help his so wanted portrayal as a flirt on the Real World. I take a break from the video shoot. My friends brother comes over to me and he cannot even speak. He is speaking but a. he is speaking another language and b. he cannot stand c. HE IS TRYING TO KISS ME. Ew-he was so drunk and telling me he likes me. I have met this guy three times (I have been so fucked him every time) and one of the times I peed his brother's couch- which he will never fucking let me forget.
I successfully run away from brother and everyone is wayyyy drunker than me, which is always an upset in my book. My friend and I go to this other bar and get a free pizza pire!!! SCORE. I ate pizza,went home and cute real world guy texts me and wanted me to come over. I was finally feeling my drunk and I said to myself why not. So I go outside but it was WAY too cold to leave so I told him I had a problem and could not move due to the weather He did not really understand my text and got mad I did not come over. It was probably better I did not, I could have had a sex tape leaked out the next morning.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
A New Year does not always mean new beginnings
After my rejection I was so ready to spit game in Tampa. I am on the line to get my bags checked at the airport and I am making small talk with these two guys who looked around my age. One of them happened to be cute and was on my flight. ;) They asked if I wanted to travel with them and I obviously did not want to risk my life, in those dangerous airports dealing with security guards and terrorists. so I said, Yes-again solely my life's sake. I find out cute guy's name is Nick and he is from by my town. I also find out his friend is going out of his mind because he is on cloud exed out of his life. Nick is also on more than ex. Do i know how to pick them or what?
I sit in between Nick and Ex. Nick and his friend both tell me how happy they are that they get to sit next to a cute girl. I assume the drugs are hitting them hard because I look over at Ex and he has his headphones in and is banging the air with his eyes closed bugging the fuck out. Nick is telling me how cute I am and wants to "bud" with me (i had no idea what the hell budding was until I found out it is sharing headphones). I also did not realize "budding" would lead to much more.
After we bud for a bit, the boys suggest we get some alcoholic beverages. Then Nick asks me for my number and I could not say no, I was not going to deal with awkwardness for 3 hours on a plane. We exchange numbers and agree that we are going to smoke after our plane ride. He also goes to school a half hour away from me. ANYWAYS, I start to drink some Jack Daniels and Coke. I had the strongest one ever. Fun Fact: One shot=two shots up in the air-Lexa did not know this. I had another strong one and I had not eaten the whole day so I was tipsy.
Now I start to fall asleep on Nick and he was all about it. He kept saying I was adorable and how he really needs a girl in his life to straighten his act up. I am just smiling and laughing-trying not to cause awkwardness or mixed feelings. But, Nick keeps telling me he really likes me and I am freaking out in the inside, but on the outside I just keep smiling. Nick and Ex's high also reaches a new level when they repeatedly start petting my hair, they keep on stroking and are amazed by how it feels. Again, I freak out on the inside.
Then Nick tells me he wants to kiss me. I tell him were on a plane-meanwhile there are kids behind and in front of us. He ignores my thought, and he leans into me and willingly kiss him back because I am dumb and drunk 3000 feet up n the air with two drug addicts. Nick and I probably made out for 2 hours on this plane ride with children and stuartists walking up and down the aisle. Then we land on the plane and my roommate could not even recognize me because I was kissing this stranger in baggage claim and he is holding my hand and does NOT want to let go. He looks at me like we are lovers and he never wants me to leave. I let go and walk to my roommate, and she is not surprised for one second. That night I got super drunk, made out with my ex-boss and peed my couch. Again, what a great way to start my new year.
P.S. He called me and texted me every day for a week after & I never responded.
I sit in between Nick and Ex. Nick and his friend both tell me how happy they are that they get to sit next to a cute girl. I assume the drugs are hitting them hard because I look over at Ex and he has his headphones in and is banging the air with his eyes closed bugging the fuck out. Nick is telling me how cute I am and wants to "bud" with me (i had no idea what the hell budding was until I found out it is sharing headphones). I also did not realize "budding" would lead to much more.
After we bud for a bit, the boys suggest we get some alcoholic beverages. Then Nick asks me for my number and I could not say no, I was not going to deal with awkwardness for 3 hours on a plane. We exchange numbers and agree that we are going to smoke after our plane ride. He also goes to school a half hour away from me. ANYWAYS, I start to drink some Jack Daniels and Coke. I had the strongest one ever. Fun Fact: One shot=two shots up in the air-Lexa did not know this. I had another strong one and I had not eaten the whole day so I was tipsy.
Now I start to fall asleep on Nick and he was all about it. He kept saying I was adorable and how he really needs a girl in his life to straighten his act up. I am just smiling and laughing-trying not to cause awkwardness or mixed feelings. But, Nick keeps telling me he really likes me and I am freaking out in the inside, but on the outside I just keep smiling. Nick and Ex's high also reaches a new level when they repeatedly start petting my hair, they keep on stroking and are amazed by how it feels. Again, I freak out on the inside.
Then Nick tells me he wants to kiss me. I tell him were on a plane-meanwhile there are kids behind and in front of us. He ignores my thought, and he leans into me and willingly kiss him back because I am dumb and drunk 3000 feet up n the air with two drug addicts. Nick and I probably made out for 2 hours on this plane ride with children and stuartists walking up and down the aisle. Then we land on the plane and my roommate could not even recognize me because I was kissing this stranger in baggage claim and he is holding my hand and does NOT want to let go. He looks at me like we are lovers and he never wants me to leave. I let go and walk to my roommate, and she is not surprised for one second. That night I got super drunk, made out with my ex-boss and peed my couch. Again, what a great way to start my new year.
P.S. He called me and texted me every day for a week after & I never responded.
Not the way to start off your New Year
My new years resolution was to not make one. It should have been a. Study more and stop drinking, b. Stop having sex with strangers (you're going to get aids or worse, herpes) c. Eat healthier and stay active. There is always next year. Perhaps if my new years eve was different it would have chaned my outlook on a new year. Except, the fact was once the clock stuck midnight on December 31st Lexa wanted a New Year's kiss! So she was at party and her little crush (who she THOUGHT had a crush on her) was not kissing anyone. Lexa decided to pull his arm in towards her to get her kiss and guess what happened? SHE GOT DENIED. Yup. That was the start of my New Year.
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